


Cheer-Soaked: A Tale Of Two Freaks

by JessicaX



Series: Cheerless Saga [6]
Category: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV)
Genre: Community: femmeslash, Crying, Drama & Romance, Dry Humping, Epilogue, F/F, First Time, Flash Forward, Gen, Goths, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lesbian Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent, POV Bisexual Character, POV Female Character, POV First Person, POV Lesbian Character, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wakes & Funerals, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 14:33:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1188738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaX/pseuds/JessicaX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[CHEERLESS SAGA, Book 6/6] Unexpected tragedy has brought Libby and Sabrina back to Westbridge - as if the tragedy of betrayal wasn't distressing enough. A fork in the road approaches. Will they find solace in their friendship, or lose it once and for all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Freaquiem

**Author's Note:**

> Sabrina, Libby, et al. are © Hartbreak / Paramount / Whatever. Adymm, Ophelia Jones, the members of In Absinthia, and this work of fiction are ©2009 myself.
> 
> For Jenna

~*~  _Chapter 1: Freaquiem_  

One of the things I remember clearly about that day was that there wasn't a single cloud anywhere in the sky. It was also warm; maybe seventy. Birds sang everywhere, like they were glad of a day where they didn't have to huddle in their nests, or peck at frozen earth for grubs to bring home to their young. The breeze carried the smell of growing grass, and flowers, and earth. It was beautiful.

Hands briefly rested on mine and my father's shoulders as people passed us, whispering consolations. It was hard to take; they should know their words couldn't do anything to ease the pain. Didn't they realise "at least she went peacefully" didn't help at all? Yet, on some level I appreciated the effort, small though it was.

The epitaph read, "Beloved Mother And Grandmother." It was fitting, but I couldn't help but feel there had to be more; like something about the warm quilts she knitted, or the way she could sing any song from before 1950 without missing a single word, or... or how much I loved her. I guess it did say that last part, which is something.

Meanwhile, Dad and I were a mess. As we glanced around at all the other mourners, tears sprung up every time we thought they were gone, and seeing old friends of Gran's only reminded us forcibly that she was gone, and would no longer bring so much joy to those around her. Even so, my eyes kept resting on all the faces that could still bring joy to me, that were so close... and yet miles away.

Adymm's hands were clasped in front of him; the look on his face said that he'd been through this before, and I know that he only has one living grandfather. Any other day I would have ran to him, to be in his arms and let him tell me everything wasn't going to be terrible forever, but... I wasn't sure I was allowed do that now. Besides, my father needed his daughter by his side, and I wasn't going to abandon him, not now.

Standing behind him and off to one side were TQ and Milnot, who mostly looked uncomfortable and out of place. They were here for me, because they wanted to be there if I needed them, but... other than that, they were complete strangers to everybody else gathered there. My heart went out to them.

And then there's Roxanna and Ophelia, hanging around by all the mausoleums and mourners, whispering quietly and trying not to look completely depressed. Ophelia, in spite of initial weirdness, had become a very good friend in a very short period of time, and I wouldn't trade her for the world, even if they were having a two-for-one special. Roxie, on the other hand... well, I wasn't sure what to make of Roxie anymore. Recent events had made it very hard for her to get along with me, but she came all the same. And she wasn't the only one who showed despite personal issues...

Looking as alone as she possibly could, a black-clad Sabrina tried to blend in with the shadows of an expensively-large tombstone with a statue of an archangel on top, yearning to be invisible. Couldn't she be invisible - was that not part of her package? But I knew she and Roxie only came because they knew it was important to me. Regardless of how bad things had grown between us, they must have lost someone close to them at least once in their lives, and didn't want to see me go through it without knowing I could count on them if I needed. Except... other than that one last foothold, all the trust was gone, and it was going to have to take a major renovation project to rebuild the bridges we'd burned.

As Dad and I stared down at the casket, as they were lowering her down into her final home, I found myself thinking about anything else. About the seething animosity, the broken promises, the secrets and the lies... and most of all, the girl who never stopped being there for me, even when words were impossible. The very girl who I once hated.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

FYI, you are definitely  _not_ catching me on my best day.

Though I can barely bring myself to write this chapter at all, you might not know exactly what's going on. For those of you who do, skip this section as you probably have been for the past several volumes. For those of you who don't, hi. My name is Libby Chessler, berieved party and ex-cheerleader with a plateful of problems. There are hundreds of them, and they'd all take forever to explain, so I can only hope whoever's reading this is able to pick them out as they go along.

Okay, okay - because I'm an excruciatingly nice person, we'll go over some of the finer points of my miserable life very quickly, but I'm trying to budget my time wisely here, so let's get on with it.

My parents suck dog doo. That may sound gross - because it is - but it's only fitting. Once upon a time several years ago, the heads of the Chessler household decided they hated each other so much that it was in everyone's best interests if my father moved to New York City while my mother and I stayed in Westbridge, Massachusetts. Needless to say, "everyone's best interests" usually means "the parents' best interests, children be damned because they're supposedly too young to care". A year or two later, the old battle axe went gaga over some hotshot executive guy named Reed Von Brown, who had an annoying brat of a son named Russell. Engagement ring, blah blah blah, I'm stuck with them. Then, when I'm at the end of my Senior year of high school, it finally happens - Libby is no longer important to the Von Brown picture, and is cast off into boarding school so they can whisk away to Tokyo and live the kabuki life! Convenient and painless for everyone involved... except me.

Luckily, dear old Dad wasn't about to shirk his responsibilities. Now, back when they divorced he was mostly a deadbeat, trying to write sci-fi novels while Mom screamed in his ear to get a "real job" like her. Due to this, the courts obviously granted her request of full custody, and when her and I made it mostly clear that he was unwelcome in Westbridge, he stopped coming around. Meanwhile, since getting out of that environment, he'd become something of an underground sensation, selling stories to pimply-faced losers all across the nation (and some parts of Europe); I guess she really WAS stifling his creativity, as he accused her of frequently when they were married. After the private academy released me at graduation, he invited me to live with him in the Big Apple... and compared to moving to the Far East or thriving in soup kitchens, that was the only sound option. Thus, yours truly began attending Columbia U, where I'm doing well in most areas other than math.

C'mon, who the hell likes  _MATH?!_

For some reason, I'm in a band. We call ourselves In Absinthia, which is a bastardisation of both the Latin phrase "in absentia" and this ancient liquor that supposedly made you see some pretty interesting shit if you drank enough. My boyfriend (the guy I wanted to give me some squeezin', remember?) is in it, and I can sing, so I kind of got roped into fronting their group. As much as I resisted it, and as much as the whole subculture still freaks me out a tad, I do actually enjoy the limelight and performing, and our songs aren't half bad - in fact, we just got signed to a record label! We're gonna try to set up some studio time in a couple weeks.

Speaking of my boyfriend, though... things have been rocky with Adymm and I lately. It seems like we're always getting into these stupid arguments, or misunderstandings, or one of us is hiding things. Unfortunately, the "one of us" has mostly been me, and that brings me to a major point, and the thing that seems to be driving a wedge between my beau and I on a fairly steady basis...

If I'm not wrong, and I really  _really REALLY_ hope I am... I may or may not have some latent bisexual tendencies. Now, some of you are going to immediately shout, "that's  _sick!_ " and shut the book or click the "X" in the corner of the window or whatever, but trust me, so would I if it weren't my life! Thing of it is, for one reason or another, I seem to end up locking lips with the same gender, and the frequency of these "flukes" only increases. My heart belongs to Adymm, I know it does, but... why am I always finding myself gardening in feminine soil?

Heh, that sounded more like something Ophelia would say.

Luckily (depending on your definition of "luck"), I can lay most of the larger problems in my life squarely on the shoulders of one person and one person only: Sabrina Spellman, AKA "Freak Of The Century". Well... okay, maybe we more or less buried the "freak" hatchet by now, but back in our high school days I always thought of her that way, because I was extremely stuck-up and she was so different from me... and only two days ago (yeah, that recently!) did I find out the true reason. Sabrina, average blonde bimbo and science geek, is a honest-to-god, dimension-hopping, teleporting, spell-casting  _witch!_  It's everything I always suspected, laid out like a map to El Dorado leading me to a treasure-trove of vindication!

But there's a hitch. Sharply contrasting with the enmity we once had, now I like Sabrina -  _a lot._  And when I say "a lot", many of the inferences you're making right now have a distinct possibility of being true... except they can't be, because I refuse to let them exist, previous un-platonic brushes notwithstanding. Anyway, as important as that is, it's beside the point, because the point here is that I found out she's a witch when she used her supernatural powers to save my life. You see, just as I was  _moronically_ chasing her across a busy New York City street, a gigantic semi truck came thundering along, and it was nanoseconds away from serving me up at the Roadkill Café... when she teleported me to the roof of my apartment building. Ergo, even though I'm not sure about whether or not I trust her anymore, or if I can even accept this whole crazy situation as true... I owe her. I owe her big. That's on top of the whole liking her part.

As you may have figured out by now, this all kind of boils down to, "My life sucks a fair amount of cock, except that I'm too lez for that"... which isn't wrong. What am I supposed to do about it, though? Gimme a break, my grandmother just died, and she was my favourite family member! But don't worry; I'm going to try in my own, ass-backwards way to make some personal progress as this story unravels, and you'll see what I'm up against and how I handle it. Maybe then you'll understand what it's like being... well, being Libby.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"What do you say we get out of here?" Dad said after most of the other grieving acquaintances had left Oak Park Cemetary for their cars. "Find some place to grab some burgers or something."

"I'm not hungry," I replied, brushing my hand lightly over the top of her headstone.

He sighed. "I know, sweetheart, but- but you need to eat, anyway."

We stood in silence for a few moments before someone spoke that I wasn't expecting... and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear her voice at all.

"Honey?"

Maybe this has never happened to you, but there are times under very extreme circumstances when, despite the fact that you know what you want to do, what you  _should_ be doing... you find yourself doing exactly the opposite. So was the case now.

"M-Mommy?"

~*~  _END Chapter One_


	2. Freaks For The Memories

Bawling, I threw myself into her arms. "Oh, Mommy, she's gone! How c-can she be gone? I- I don't understand..."

"Shh," she soothed, crying as well. "It's okay, baby... it's okay."

Later, my friends told me they could see the somewhat amusing looks of semi-contempt shooting between my parents; I wish I had a tape of that. At the time, I was totally oblivious, sobbing into my mother's dress and trying not to sink any lower than that.

"So," I finally said, sniffling as I stood up, "what- what are you doing here?"

"David phoned us about your Gran," she said quietly, and I could tell that for one brief moment in her life, my mother wasn't sure what she was saying. "And... and I know things have been bad, with us that is, but I told Reed I just had to be here, and he understood. So... right. Anyway, how are you holding up?"

"How do you think?" I snapped. Then I settled again, clearing my throat. "I'm sorry, that-"

"Don't worry about it," she shushed, holding my chin to look at me better. "Nobody's going to hold anything against you today."

Adymm came over right about then, and Sabrina, Roxie, Ophelia, TQ and Milnot weren't far behind (oh, and in case you're wondering where dear ole Greg was, he couldn't get his Nazi boss to let him off work, but he sent his regards). My mother glanced at them before looking back at me. "My, my, you must really have some good friends there if they've come all this way."

"I do," I whispered, flashing them a watery smile; though I was too distraught at that moment, I knew the memory of TQ's musty-looking, ruffly crimson tux would make me laugh years later. "They're the best."

"Do you, uh, need some time?" Adymm asked me. "We can meet you somewhere if you want."

"Yeah... I'll catch up." They all patted me on the back as they passed, but I noticed Ophelia's hand moved the quickest; in my state of grief, it didn't occur to me why... until about ten seconds after they had left.

"Hmm," mother said. "Wasn't that green-haired girl the one who...?"

"Yes, mother," I sighed, hoping I wouldn't have to do this now; I mean, the guys with shovels were hanging around their truck nearby, and it felt like completely the wrong time.

"No, no, it's fine," she said quickly, as if she'd practiced this moment meticulously. "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. You're my daughter, and I love you very much."

"Did you see the one with the blue spikes?" I asked patiently. "That's Adymm.  _He's_ my better half."

"Oh," she sighed in relief (the big faker). "Well, as I said, if you're happy, I'm-"

"Yeah, yeah." Just then, I spotted this oversized mop of frizzy red hair heading toward me; it seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "So... you coming with us to the wake?"

"Oh, I don't know," Mother said, shaking her head. "I'm not much for wakes; it always seemed kind of strange to me to throw a big party after someone... well, you know."

"Me too... but it's what she wanted."

"Libby Chessler? Oh my God, is that really you?!"

I blinked; the redhead was inches away from me now, blinking in the sunlight. Her clothes were proper and tasteful, but not black and severe like mine and my mother's. "Uh... yeah, it is."

"You don't recognise me, huh? Guess it has been a long time."

But she was wrong, because at that exact moment it hit me. "Hey... you used to be friends with Sabrina, didn't you? Yeah... Jenny something!"

She rolled her eyes. "Jenny Something of the Richmond Somethings, or something." We both laughed, and then she looked at her shoes. "So... you can't be here for anything good."

"Yeah. Well, my-" It almost choked me up again, but my mother squeezed my shoulder, and - again, even though I should have been kicking her ass from here to Tuesday - it made me feel better. "My grandmother passed away yesterday."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I... I don't remember my grandma, but I've always been told how kind she was. Were you two... close?"

"Very." She nodded solemnly as I cleared my throat. "So... how about you? Why are you here?"

"Oh, my parents."

_"WHAT?!"_

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

To make this part less tedious, a couple hours later found us all at Gran's house, crowded around a table and sipping at various alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, listening to Jennifer Kelly give us the short version of her life story. Don't blow a gasket - you'll be able to infer the important parts.

"...and I've been living with Aunt Joan and Uncle Randy down in Virginia ever since."

"Wow..." Ophelia shook her head. "I... I think I might have to go hang out with my dad today."

"Yeah." For my part, I was sitting between my biological parents, squeezing their arms with fervor.

"Hey, cut it out, you guys," she laughed nervously. "I mean, yes, it's a horrible tragedy, but that was almost three years ago now; the wound has mostly healed."

"Still," Roxie breathed, "it's so... I mean, a zamboni?!"

"I know, right? I can't pass a skating rink without bursting into tears. It's... actually funny to think about when it's not happening."

Sabrina, who had almost literally exploded upon seeing her one-time best friend again, was now stabbing at her pool of ranch dip with a carrot stick and listening intently... while avoiding eye contact with me. Oh, what, you think I couldn't tell? She didn't want to acknowledge me, because that would mean we were on speaking terms - which I guess was fine, since I wasn't sure I could process anything remotely stressful in the midst of all the grief. Still, she was there, which meant something.

Eventually, Jenny started playing some heavy catch-up with Sabrina, and I got tired of watching Adymm and Roxie whispering urgently (about me, I'm sure), so I excused myself and went to the ladies' room, where I sobbed like a baby. It was hard not to that day, for so many different reasons up to and including Gran, but I felt like if I did it in front of the others I wouldn't be able to stop. Which I didn't want, 'cos it seemed like all anybody did these days was watch my waterworks.

There's no way to know how long I was in there; somewhere between five minutes and infinity. I was trying to dry it up again in order to rejoin the throng when in walks...

"Oh, Sabrina!" Frantically, I wiped my face off, trying to paste together something resembling a smile. Hadn't that door been locked? Not that it would stop her, being what she is. "Hi, I was j-just leaving, I-"

"You wanted to know the real reason I was in New York, right?"

The moment was incredibly tense; we hadn't held a real conversation with each other since the night I found out her secret, and yet so much had transpired in that one day between that it was hard to feel our way around this one. Without knowing what else to do, I decided to go with honesty. "Yeah."

She nodded, still not making eye contact. "I- I don't know why I'm telling you this now. It's probably the worst time, I'm sure, with your Gran and all, but- but for some reason it seems oddly right. Why is that?"

"I- I don't know," I sniffled, dabbing at my eyes with a piece of toilet paper. "What is it?"

"It's you," she whispered. "Something you did for me... I don't wonder if you forgot about it already? Actually, that would be hilarious if you didn't even remember, and here it is this majorly important deal to me."

"What-"

"My yearbook." For a painfully brief moment, her eyes darted up to mine, and I could see them shining. "I- I guess you did it over Christmas sometime, but- but you wrote something in my yearbook."

"Oh yeah... you're right, I did forget." Any other day, I would have laughed out loud at that; presently, all I could muster was a quiet chuckle. "But... I meant every word of it."

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth for all-too-brief a moment before she cleared her throat and pressed onward, forcing out the words that she'd been too shy to tackle before. "A couple weeks ago I was kinda bored, so I cracked it open and found your note in there; it was after I sent that letter, I'm sure of that much. We seem to keep communicating through high school nostalgia, don't we? But, the thing is..." Her lip quivered for a moment, but she took a deep breath, biting it back. "You have no idea how deep it touched me. All those beautiful things you said, about me, about being my friend, they- they... but just telling you, it was never gonna be enough. I wanted to show you. I wanted to brave the hurricane of our bizarre friendship again by going to New York to see you, despite the fact that I wasn't sure about... about where you and me stand."

My heart rate quickened. What was she trying to say here? It felt more like an apology than a thanks, or even a confession.

"But... but from the minute my plane touched down in LaGuardia, I started screwing everything up. Nothing was working out the way I wanted, I kept ending up shouting at people, and- and even though we had some good times, and I wouldn't trade those for all the Oolong in China, it seemed like everything quickly approached the meltdown stage. I'm sorry, Libby - I'm so sorry I failed you as a friend."

Yep - an apology, then. My throat felt like it was closing up. "Sabrina-"

"And you don't have to say anything," she added quickly, a single tear hovering at the end of her eyelashes. "This is a freebie. Maybe we'll grow and learn or whatever, or maybe we- we'll grow apart, but- but I wanted to at least give you that one explanation you'd been asking me for. I thought you should- yeah. Yeah, it was your  _right_ to know. That... that's all." Not meeting my eyes again, she pushed me out the door and into the hall, locking it behind her.

There it was, the reason she thought she had to tell me today; even if it hadn't occurred to her yet, which I don't think it had, I figured it out on my own. I had lost so much in the past twenty-four hours that she felt she had to give me the only thing she could to help ease the pain... and, much to my surprise, it did. Even through the storm of conflicting emotions and grief, that simple gesture shone like a beacon. Without thinking too much about what I was doing anymore, my hand stretched wide, fingertips pressed against the door.

"Sabrina, I- I-"

"You probably shouldn't linger," she said through the door, full of false joviality. "I, uh... had the chili for lunch. This might not be pretty."

Only her...

~*~  _END Chapter Two_


	3. The Circle Of Libby

"So... what are you going to do now?"

"Huh?" I asked, glancing back up at Dad. "Oh... you mean, now that the funeral and the wake are over?"

"Yeah," he said, watching the last of Gran's old friends and some distant relatives I didn't know very well filter out into the early evening. "The reading of her will is supposed to be tomorrow morning, but you don't have to be present for it."

"Mm."

"So, if you wanted to go back to New York in the morning, or even tonight, that's fine... or if you want to stay here in Westbridge for a day or two, it- well, it's up to you, Libb."

"I... I can't, I can't think about that. It's-"

"You can decide in the morning," he said firmly, his hand clamping tightly on my shoulder. "Sleep on it."

"Okay."

He moved off to argue with my mother over something trivial; it was almost like they were married again. That left me to sink down in one of her dumpy old recliners, clutching the faded upholstery and trying not to fall apart yet again.

"You look rough."

"I feel rough," I breathed. "This... everything is so hard, now. Why is it all so hard?"

"Because she died," Jenny said quietly, sitting on an ottoman and folding her hands over her knees. "Losing somebody is never gonna be easy, no matter how many times you go through it."

"You don't understand, I- I feel so guilty."

Her brow furrowed. "Why's that?"

"Dammit!" I pounded one of the armrests - an ownerless armrest. "What kind of granddaughter am I? Last time I was here, I didn't even spare a moment to visit her! So what if there were a thousand crazy things going on with me that week? I sh-should have found time,  _made_ time!"

"But you didn't. And now she's gone."

I glared up at her. "Gee, I wonder why I didn't like you during high school?"

"No, I'm-" She stopped to sigh, thinking. "What I mean is, I know it seems like you did something awful, but there's no use crying about it; you just went on with your life as usual. How were you supposed to know you wouldn't get to see her again?"

"But- but I was so-"

"You wanna know what the last thing I ever said to my mother was?" There was this genuine twinkle of bemusement in her eyes. "I said, 'Peanut butter is for losers'. She wanted me to pack more than a bag of Lays for lunch at school that day and offered to make me a sandwich, but I was running late and I didn't want to stop and wait for it. Hence..."

"'Peanut butter is for losers'," I reiterated for her. "Heh."

"Yeah, exactly; it's kind of funny, right?" Her eyes rolled. "You know how long I hated myself for that? Weeks,  _months._  Every day, I'd beat myself up for not saying something better, for my last words to my mother not being more profound, or at least not legume-related. But you know what?"

"Wh-what?"

"There's no point. Why rip yourself a new one over and over for something you can't change, that doesn't matter? We were just carrying our lives out as we normally would; if she hadn't died that afternoon, I'd have come home and griped about my school day, and she'd have told me to take out the trash. Only, we didn't get to, because she and dad were gone."

"And... and you don't find that sad?"

"Of course." She looked down at her hands, picking at one of her nails where the polish had chipped slightly. "I'll always miss them, because I'll never stop loving them. That kind of love is... anchored, I guess. Anchored in your heart, and unable to float away completely. But see, what I'm saying is it's not worth it to dwell on all those frivolous regrets. Just remember that you loved each other, and be glad you got the time with her you did, y'know?"

"Yeah." And while I cleared my throat, determined to steer this conversation elsewhere, an idea began stirring in the back of my mind; something to bring up later, and with someone else. "So, when do you, uh... ship out?"

"Tomorrow," she sighed. "I'm still not sure I want to commit myself to something so huge, but it's such a worthy cause... and I just don't know what the hell I'm doing otherwise, to be honest. This past semester of college has been great, but none of it really feels like it matters. Besides, if I stay in Richmond the situation won't budge, I'm sure of it... but I'm hoping maybe this'll help me find some direction."

"You kinda sound like Ophelia." I couldn't help but smile. "Actually, Peace Corps makes perfect sense for you; I seem to remember you always had this thing for taking up causes."

"That I did," she said with a nod. "What about you? I guess you're going to be some kind of hotshot lawyer, or maybe a CEO?"

"Well," I gusted, glancing over at where Adymm, T.Q. and Milnot were having a very animated conversation by the punch bowl, "that may not be my plan, exactly..."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"Hey, wait up, you guys!"

Sabrina and Roxie stopped in their tracks, arms folding to their chests, inches away from Sabrina's little maroon Saturn. Huffing slightly, I ran up beside them.

"Can... can I talk to you?"

"You're talking now, aren't you?" Roxie said coldly. I'm surprised I didn't spontaneously burst into flames from the intensity of her glare.

"Rox!" Sabrina hissed. "Not today!"

For a second, she showed no sign of change; then she sighed, dropping her arms. "You're right... I'm sorry, Libby. What's the deal?"

"Well, for one thing..." This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Why didn't I think through my impulses before I acted on them? "Uh, that is, I wanted to ask you - why were you at the apartment?"

Sabrina blinked. "Huh?"

"W-when I found out about... well, you know. I was just curious if you were there to see me, or- or what."

"She was going to try to work things out with you," Roxie said evenly. "See if you were done being a-"

"Roxie, that's enough."

Silently, I thanked Sabrina for that; meanwhile, Roxie shrugged and got into the car. "Guess I'm not very good at putting on airs." Then she slammed the door, leaving the two of us to it.

"Walk with me?" Sabrina asked, glancing anxiously at the car.

"If you don't hate me too much."

"Nah."

We were around the corner of the block, out of sight of both the car and the house it was in front of before either of us spoke again, and when we did, it was her - and her tone was hollow and resigned.

"Okay, Libby, there are no witnesses. What is it?"

"Um..." In spite of myself, I glanced around, so anxious I could burst. "I was wondering if I could ask you a favour."

"Of course you were."

"Well... maybe you can't do this, but... but I thought I should at least ask."

"You probably shouldn't, but go ahead."

I gaped openly at her, stopping in my tracks. "What's  _your_ problem?"

She laughed half-heartedly at the look on my face. "What? Aren't you going to ask me to bring your Gran back from the grave?"

~*~  _END Chapter Three_


	4. The Buddha Of Sabrinia

WOW. That tripped me up for a few seconds; she had me dead to rights.

"Well, Libby? That  _was_ what you were going to ask, right?"

"You... you didn't tell me witches were psychic!"

"We're not," Sabrina said resignedly, leaning against a telephone pole. "Or at least,  _I'm_  not. But I'm also not stupid; if I were in your shoes, I'd be asking me the exact same thing."

"Then... then you can't," I sighed dejectedly. "Otherwise, I hope you would have volunteered."

Her eyes were busy studying the patterns in her stockings. "Yeah, I would have. Unfortunately, there's no Lazarus spell in my spellbook. I'm sorry, Libby, I really am. In fact..."

"What? What is it?"

The guilt on her face was absolute; whatever she was about to confess wasn't something she was proud of. "Well, I was going to try to get around that for you; in fact, I was all set to do it, or so I thought. But... there was nothing doing."

Once again nursing the broken remains of hope, I asked, "Hmm... and how's that?"

"Well, once upon a time, my Aunts did this cool thing for me. See, they bought me a present where I could bring back anyone who had died for a whole half-hour; it's called a Reanimation." When I didn't do much in the way of... well, anything, she continued. "Gosh, it was all I could do to contain myself; I got to see Granny again, even if only for a little while! So, y'know, I went to Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda as soon as we got back into Westbridge on the redeye."

"And... and they said no."

"Bingo." She shrugged helplessly. "For one thing, they're expensive - and not just saving a few paychecks up, we're talking  _mortgage,_  here. Also, I clean forgot they only work on Hallowe'en, which is pretty damn inconvenient. But... those, we could get around, or at least wait for. Unfortunately, there's one ginormous roadblock in your way that we can't do anything about."

"Let me guess: I'm not a witch."

There were actually tears in her eyes over this - it wasn't even her grandmother we were talking about! She really needed to cut that out, it made me nervous. "The Reanimation Room is in the Other Realm, and- and like I told you that night, mortals aren't allowed. Sorry."

"Come on!" Even though I had been telling myself to accept that my very last hope of seeing her was over, my willpower reared its ugly head, forced me to start spewing out inane notions. We were so close! "Can't I like... convert or something? I'll be a good little witch, I promise!"

She laughed weakly. "You would, but it doesn't work that way."

"I'll pay you! There's my nest egg - that should at least make a dent in-"

"Libby!" She was starting to look exceptionally bleak about this. "You have to know I'd sell both my kidneys if money was all it took!"

"I- I know," I whispered, and even though I wasn't sure of it when I said it, it felt true. "And... thanks for trying, it means a lot. But damn, it would have been great to see her one last time..."

After a few seconds of the wind whipping at our black dresses, she blurted, "Is there anything else I can do for you? I mean it, just say the word and you can have an almost-new Saturn, or I could-"

"Hey," I snapped. "You didn't take my car when I offered it, and I'm not going to take yours. There will be no vehicle-donating between friends, got that?"

Oops. We weren't friends anymore... were we? Oh well - it was too late to take it back, and I found I wasn't that concerned. On the upside, the dimples returned to her cheeks the instant the word slipped out from mine, and even though it wasn't quite the old familiar ear-to-ear grin, the one that glowed so bright it lit up the night sky, it still gave me back a hint of warmth.

"Gotcha."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Everything was eerily quiet in my grandmother's old house. It was probably a dumb idea, staying there; I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her in the casket, couldn't begin to drift off without remembering her laugh, or something she'd said to me once upon a time. But there was no way I'd want to be staying anywhere else, so I guess there was going to be no sleep for Libby tonight.

What's more, Dad and I were the only ones there; Adymm, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (that's what I'd been calling T.Q. and Milnot when they got into one of their petty, meaningless squabbles) were all at Sitanzp Inn again, and Mom was at the HoJo. Obviously, Sabrina and Roxie were home, and Ophelia had opted to crash on their couch, despite the weirdness between her and Sabrina. Though over the past year it being just me and Dad has come to feel normal, tonight the number two seemed awfully small.

Admitting defeat, I crossed to the window, staring out at the trees; my legs felt chilly without pants on, but it was too much effort to dig a pair out of my suitcase or find the robe I'd thrown off before bed. Why was life so hard? Was it worth it? In the end, it ended. That seemed like such an obvious statement, but before now it had eluded me. Was there a God? Was there Heaven, or Nirvana, or whatever? Or was all this crap totally worthless?

For reasons I didn't even want to fathom, my attention was automatically drawn to the bandage on my left wrist. Wouldn't it have been easier to have gone through with it? Then I would never have had to experience losing my grandmother - in fact, if the afterlife were real, we might have arrived at the same time!

But no. Everybody knows people who commit suicide don't get past the pearly gates; they go the other way, don't they? How careless of me - though the past week of my life couldn't have been much better than Hades, that's for sure.

Still... if I let myself die, for real  _or_ just on the inside, there would be nothing else. As tempting as letting go is, as much of a relief it would be, there was so much more to be done! I was the only one who could turn my life around, and if I threw in the towel I'd never get to see a light at the end of  _any_ tunnel, whichever tunnel I ended up in. Maybe it was worth it just to see where my spiritual GPS would lead me, no matter how painful and bumpy the road might get.

With a snort of disgust, I realised my soul-searching had led me to that well-worn phrase parents always tell rambunctious children on car trips: "Getting there is half the fun!" Damn, I'm deep, aren't I?

But I was going to start now. Out of all the things that were beyond the scope of my ability to effect change, there was a situation that I could better right now - or the moment I acted. But I didn't want to act later. If only I had known how wriggly that can of worms I was poised to open would be...

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

RIIING... RIIING...

"Hngh... Hello?"

"It's me," I whispered. "Can you come over?"

"Nghxlbfff." There was a rustling and some grunting on the other end. "Now? It's... God, it's almost two."

My voice faltered. "Oh yeah."

"Libby, are you okay?"

"No, I'm fine, everything's fine. You're right, it's too early and I'm- I'm sorry, this is so stupid of me! But, see, I wanted to... to talk. And I mean really talk, y'know, through some things, and obviously this can wait until tomorrow, so nevermind I called, okay?"

"Okay." But the voice was coming from behind me; I whirled, hand clutched to my chest.

"S-Sabrina! B-but-"

"Did I really startle you?" she whispered, clapping her cell phone closed and stomping toward me, her movements sluggish from lingering sleep and clumsier-seeming still due to the rumpled, lacy pink pyjamas she was wearing. "Guess knowing something and being used to it are two different things. Sorry."

"Oh, d-don't be," I stammered, taking slow, deep breaths to make my heart stop doing the samba. "See? Almost regained my center already!"

She smiled, sitting down on the edge of the bed and rubbing at her face. "Alright, let's talk. What do you want to know about the fearsome and arcane world of magical crap?"

"Well..." Oh, I wished she hadn't opened with that - there was  _so much!_  But my will is strong when I need it to be. "No. No, that's not why I called you."

"It's okay if you want to know stuff," she reassured me. "Believe me, when I first found out? Look out, world, Sabrina needs info and make it snappy!"

"Found out? You mean... you didn't always know?"

Her smile widened. It was working! The temptation to ask all the selfish questions was unbearably great, and from the moment I decided to call her I became increasingly afraid that I would blurt all those awful things first without asking what was really important. Luckily, it was easier than I thought, because when it came down to it, I knew this was the stuff I most needed to understand: what it's like being a witch.

"I came into my powers when I turned sixteen," she began, folding her legs under her Indian-style. "Y'know, right after I got to Westbridge. Before that, I didn't know any more than you did last week; that witches were ugly hags with warts on their noses, and magic usually involved hiding an Ace of Clubs up your sleeve. Not only that, but my Aunts tried to tell me what I was turning into BEFORE I turned into it, which only made me think the two of them were totally wacked."

"So is that why you moved in with them? Because... because they're witches, too?" Hey, I didn't want to throw around false accusations, especially not now.

"Yep; they've been training me, teaching me how everything works. As for how things  _don't_  work, well, I tend to learn all that on my own, and usually in a very painful fashion."

"But what about your mom? Wasn't she one, too?"

Her face fell slightly, and while she tried to look away fast enough that I didn't catch it, but the pain was so obvious. "No. Unfortunately, she's just an archaeologist."

"Oh... and that's bad?"

" _Very_ bad. From the moment I came into my powers until my eighteenth birthday, I wasn't allowed to see her... or else."

Obviously, this was going to be a long night.

~*~  _END Chapter Four_


	5. The Defreaking Room

"Or-" I gulped, trying to re-wet my throat. "Or else... what?"

"Or else she'd turn into a big ball of wax," she laughed. "Some sense of humour the Witches' Council has, huh? Of course, I messed up a couple times, circumvented the rules, and now... now I can't see Mom until I'm 21. It's a giant drag, yes."

"That's awful..." Reevaluation time: here I had been so angry at my mother, when at least I had the option of seeing her. "And... and I'm getting this equally awful feeling that magic's not always so fun."

"It's almost  _never_ fun. There's so many rules, it's like-" She paused, thinking. "I guess it's like driving a car."

"Uhh... huh?!"

"Well, y'know how you have to get a permit first, and then you have to learn all the rules of the highway, and even when you finally get your license you  _still_ can't drive anywhere anytime you want to, and if you do the slightest thing wrong it could not only put you on suspension, but also get you and a dozen other people killed?" She shrugged, taking a breath. "Basically, it's like that. That day we were talking about in New York - when I had just met you, and you smeared the lipstick all over your face? I didn't even mean to  _do_ that; it was a mistake, like backing into a mailbox. Things like that are always happening, and it was even worse when I was new to my powers. I mean, I'm doing the best I can, y'know?"

I was starting to freak out again. When I made the decision to reopen the can of worms I promised myself I'd keep a level head, no matter what she told me, but it wasn't working. "And... and all those other things that happened to me, those terrible things. How many of them were you, or just witchcraft in general?"

"Well... as for the stuff that happened to you at Westbridge High, maybe... half?" Her arms were already shielding her face. "Whatever you can think of that was totally out there, it was probably my fault. Please don't beat me!"

"Like... like the day I ruined my chance at having a brand new Homecoming Queen throne, even though I couldn't remember exactly what I did."

"Yeah." Her nose wrinkled in a permanent wince. "I was... well, I was in your brain."

As much as these things were almost starting to sound like something akin to normal, that one was a doozy. "In  _WHAT?!"_

"Uh-huh; I mean, I had literally shrunk down to microscopic size and was  _in_ your brain by way of tiny... spaceship. Wow, I just realised how retarded some of this stuff sounds, even if you  _are_ a witch."

"But why?" I had to stop to further examine this one. "Seriously, why in God's name would you want to park your ship there? Not that my head's a bad place to park, I'm sure, as far as  _brains_ go!"

"It was an accident!" she whined. "Salem got this spaceship replica from eating a boatload of cereal, and-"

"Salem who?" Then it hit me. "Oh. The cat. Why not? Of course the cat would get a spaceship. Par for the course."

"Hey, if it makes you feel better, I spent most of the time I was in there trying to find a way out. Y'know, I like you, but... gross,  _gross, GROSS!"_

My mind was racing. "That time everybody thought I was the one streaking instead of you?"

"Neither of us were streaking," she whispered maliciously. "It was a double I'd concocted... though it looked like you, so yeah."

"But you got me in trouble!"

"You were trying to get me to streak; you deserved it!" A couple seconds later she bit her lip. "But for what it's worth, I'm sorry for slandering your reputation."

"Other things, more... how about the time Godzilla attacked the school?"

"Yep."

"And when, for a some reason I could no longer comprehend the day after, I turned all supreme geek and joined the science club?"

"Guilty."

"And-" This one hit me like a ton of bricks, but I quickly disregarded it. "No, you wouldn't do that."

"What?"

"My mom randomly throwing me out of the house... it couldn't have been you, right?"

This time, her face fell and fell hard. Her eyes got much shiftier, and she looked like she was fighting the impulse to skip out. Meanwhile, my stomach had gone completely cold.

"No..."

"That was a  _total_ accident, and not my fault!" she cried, hands clenching at the bedspread. "I was working at the Other Realm Rumour Mill, and- and I made it up, innocently thinking a few kids would talk about it and laugh, then- but all the rumours came true! God, Libby, it- it was horrible!"

"You... you did that to me?"

"Mr. Kraft and Mrs. Quick started going out, and Harvey was pregnant, and-"

"You made me think I was going to be living on the streets."

She stopped babbling. "I... I did. That is, I fixed it as fast as I could, but... but I'm sorry, I never meant for you to go through that, not in reality."

"No. No, I'm sure you didn't, but it still happened. Sabrina, I don't know how I can forgive you for doing that to me."

Her vocal cords squeaked for a moment before she bowed her head. "You're right. I wouldn't forgive me, either."

"But I'm going to."

It shocked both of us, trust me. What was I doing? This arrogant, self-righteous magician had put me through one of the worst experiences of my young life - how could I be saying this?! I'd been so grateful for her support when I was suffering as a homeless teenager, and all along- wait.  _Was_ I forgiving her? I cared about her a lot, but it seemed as if I was backing down from this fight too quickly. Even so - if it was her doing, if magic was the unseen force compelling me to say these words, then so be it. Either way, there was no fighting these feelings welling up so strongly. These truths.

"L-libby-"

"And even if you're the one who sent me to Swords... I'll forgive you for that, too."

"Libby..." She stood over me, hands suddenly digging into my shoulders. "Damn, please, you have to know I didn't do that! It- if anything, I wanted to bring you  _back_ from there! But I found out way too late to interfere, I- if only I had known-"

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

Tears were leaking down her face again - how could I make this poor girl who never cried do it so much? "If I hadn't been on that stupid trip to Hawaii - which, as it turns out, I couldn't have gotten out of even if I  _had_ known - maybe I could have done a spell to change your mother's mind about sending you away. More importantly, you have to know I would have - I would have in a heartbeat, even if I had to chop off my leg or something!"

I was shocked to hear this. "What- Sabrina, how long have you been keeping all this bottled up?"

"Since it happened," she sniffled, sitting back down next to me. "I didn't find out until like, weeks later - damn my scatterbrained Aunt Hilda! By then there was nothing I could do. Even if I made your mom have a change of heart, it was  _way_ too much tampering at that point, and- and if it worked at all, you would probably still have had to finish out the semester. Mostly, I just figured I'd missed my window of opportunity, so all I could do was send you that lame letter. God, you must hate me."

Sure, I considered having some fun with that briefly, but... "No, I don't. You... you couldn't have known they would lose what little sanity they had and pack me off to Crapland Central. Besides, they still wound up moving to Japan, and then I would have to bow at people and eat nothing but sushi."

"Which isn't as fun as it sounds, is it?" she laughed wetly. "Geez, Libby... we've been through a lot in our short nineteen years."

"More than our fair share." Another thought occurred to me. "Just so I'm clear, because I want to be certain of my own life story... since I got outta boarding school, how much really happened the way I remember it?"

"All of it," she swore, nodding vigorously. "And I know you've probably been thinking about this, so... yes, the hypothermia thing was totally how everyone said it happened. What they don't know is that I used my finger to heat myself up extra warm so it would work on you faster, that's all. Hell, it didn't even occur to me 'til we were already- uhh, y'know."

"Oh, Sabrina!" I suddenly cried out, burying my head in her lap. "You... what am I supposed to do about you? I d-don't know if I should be awed, or afraid, or mad, or- or- and you're just so much! There's so much Sabrina, and sometimes I'm not sure I'm a big enough person to handle it all!"

"Libby," she said anxiously, "wh-what are you talking about? I mean, I know this magic thing is massive, but it's me! It's the same me it's always been!"

"Maybe so, b-but Sabrina the person is  _still_ so much deeper than anybody I've ever known!" I sniffled, clutching her waist. "And- and why didn't you tell me? I mean, m-maybe I would have freaked, but I'd have understood, I'd come around! Why couldn't you be honest with me?"

She laughed humourlessly, stroking my hair to calm me; it felt good, and tickled the back of my neck slightly. "Believe it or not, there's a solid, magical rule about that; it's not just me being all Area 51." When I only looked up at her blearily, she continued, "Any witch who outright tells a mortal what she is has to be stripped of her powers. If I told you, or anybody else I love, or even some stranger on the street... I'd lose the magic forever. Iron-clad, no loopholes to be found."

"But... but I know, and you're okay."

"Ahh," she said with a stately nod, "but I didn't  _tell_ you, did I? You found me out with that wily Chessler brain of yours... which I've spent an afternoon in," she added quietly. "Trust me, I'd  _much_ rather have sat you down for a long talk than have you find out like you did, but... at least you know, and maybe now we can be okay, right?"

"Mmm." Sitting up, something she'd just said floated back to the surface; it had almost slipped by unnoticed, but we wouldn't be that fortunate. "Wait, what?"

"I said we'll be okay. We are, right?"

"Not that," I whispered, looking up into her face, scanning those delicate features for clues and swallowing hard. "You... did you just say what I think you said?"

"Uhh, I don't know," she said nervously, and I could tell she wasn't being evasive; she honestly hadn't caught it. "What did you think I said?"

"That... that you love me."

~*~  _END Chapter Five_


	6. Libby Just One More Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember oh-so-many-months back when I mentioned these last two installments would be rated "M", and that eventually you'd find out why? This chapter may not be for the faint of heart. No, listen - it's got some er... yep. I dare not elaborate.

"Wh-WHAAAT?!"

Before I could do or say anything, she shoved herself to her feet, hand tucking a golden strand behind her ear distractedly. The transformation in her was instantaneous and complete; she went from being apologetic and soft-spoken to defensive and indignant. I didn't need to hear her say anything else to be able to tell, and it was far from comforting.

"Sabrina, settle down, you-"

"No, you- I what?!" she repeated. "Wh-why would I say that, what are you talking about?"

"Well," I said slowly, patiently, "you said if you told me or anyone else you love, you'd lose your powers. Wouldn't that group me among the people you... y'know, love?"

 _"Ohhh._ Well, yeah!" she giggled brightly. "Absolutely, of course I do!"

"Uhhh, thanks." Seriously, suspicious much? Meanwhile, I'm well aware of how drastic some of this issue-pushing is about to get, and you have no idea how horrible I feel about it. I'm not proud of this moment - one of many occasions in which I was more frightened of my own actions than anything else. "But... that's not what we're really talking about here, is it?"

The plastic grin on her face was slowly melting away, revealing sheer panic; it seemed to finally hit her that she'd slipped up, and boy, had she. "Yes it is, of course it is! You're my best friend, and I- I think you're awesome! Why wouldn't I consider you a loved one? Like... like the sister I never had, or something! I heart you, sis!"

"Stop it."

"B-but-"

That stupid organ in my chest was galloping away, making it hard to talk. In that moment, the last thread holding me back had broken, and I lost all control of myself. "This, the back and forth- it's getting too unbearable to deal with anymore."

Her heavy breathing should have been loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood. "There IS no 'this'!" she hissed, eyes darting to the window and back to me. "What the hell do you mean by-"

"Sabrina, please," I whispered, standing up and pacing toward her; a hunger had possessed me, and concepts like will and judgment fell silent in its wake. She was showing weakness, and the predator in me I had bred so carefully throughout high school yearned to strike at her, consume her -  _force_ her to give me what I needed. "Stop railing against it so hard, can't you see that's only making it worse?"

"No!" she moaned quietly, stumbling backwards. "No, no, no, no, no-"

"Believe me," I laughed dementedly, "I know whereof I speak; if you act all defensive and homophobic, it just makes you seem severely closeted. Ask Ophelia!"

"I- I know," she squeaked as her back ran into the wall. "And, and you're right, but-"

Before my wily brain had caught up with the pony in my chest, my hands were on either side of her head, pressing against the wall. The lids around her blue eyes stretched as wide as they could go - wider, maybe - and though they drifted to either side of the room, searching for an easy escape, they mostly focused on how close my face was to hers. Every inch of her alabaster skin was flushed. Her twitching mouth stretched wide in fear, breath coming faster and faster.

"Libby... no..."

"Tell me, Sabrina," I breathed, my lips moving so close to the side of her head that you would've had trouble slipping a piece of paper in there; I felt her shudder, heard her respiration falter as hot air caressed her ear. My brain was desperately clawing, trying to catch up and end this horrible experience, but the animal in me had shut it out - killer instinct had taken over my being. "Is- is this magic? Are powers beyond our control behind this? Because if they aren't, then... then-"

"Hnghh..."

When I drew back enough to see her eyes again, I could see it all there as if she were holding a billboard: the revulsion, the confusion, the panic... and something new. Something that, if I wasn't imagining it, could so easily be mistaken for longing - and I aimed to find out. In my sudden madness, this felt like a downward slope with the ultimate answers waiting for me at the bottom, and now that I was already sliding...

"Who's bewitching who, here?" I said feverishly, my hips pressing against hers, causing her back to arch against the unyielding wall. "Are you doing this to me? Are you  _making_ me? Or am  _I_ making  _you?!"_

"Libby!" she gasped, her shock mixing with her pleasure - or what I perceived as such.

"Is this a game, or is it real?" I demanded, feeling my one of my bosoms slip between hers, sensing a corresponding shiver of delight and anguish. My head was swimming; I couldn't keep it up forever, not with so much heat building between us. "Tell me!"

But for the moment, the throes of passion were so strong she couldn't speak; one of her hands fell to my waist, her pyjama pantleg grazed my bare one, and her mouth floated toward mine unbidden, clearly acting against the wills that wrestled within her eyes.

"S-Sabrina, you'd better tell me now before it's too late - before I... I can't hold back!" Pearls rolled down her cheeks silently as my lips brushed against her chin, craving nothing more than to inch upward. Desperation had crept into my voice - to my overlapping horror and satisfaction, I knew I wasn't bluffing. "Is it really me wh-who wants this so badly?!"

 _"YES!"_ she screamed, and before her final shred of self-control dissolved under my ministrations, she mustered all of her strength...

...and pushed me to the floor. Roughly, too; I could tell my tailbone would bruise, despite the carpeting. Sitting up painfully, I looked up into her face and saw the shame I felt reflected.

"Why, Libby?" she sobbed, utterly and totally bewildered, arms clutching at her stomach as if nauseated as her head shook unceasingly. "Wh-why are you... why are you so damn persistent?"

"But Sabrina, I- I'm-"

As if it were possible, her eyes got yet wider. "Oh my God..."

With a start, I noticed her line of vision wasn't leading to my face... and it also seemed to me that my panties weren't as dry as they were when all this started.

"N-no way," I breathed, not even daring to look for myself; Sabrina's disgusted-yet-allured expression told me everything. I caught movement in her throat that probably meant she was having trouble swallowing. "But- but I couldn't have wanted- not like- but it was just-"

"Finish a sentence!" she shouted, then slapped her hand over her mouth.

"I'm sorry," I said automatically, glancing away from her face... only to see that her chest was definitely trying to poke its way through her pyjama top. "Christ, what did-"

"W-we can't," she moaned helplessly, shaking all over and threatening to faint dead away right there. "I can't do this, I- I can't  _be_ this!"

And before I knew what was happening, she was glittering again... and there was nothing. It took me a few seconds to realise that, surprise surprise, I was alone - alone in my humiliation and regret.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

As I stared at the ceiling of Gran's spare bedroom, it all seemed pretty simple. Why wouldn't Sabrina acknowledge that something was there? It seemed like we'd been doing this intricate tango for two years, slowly working up to a grand finale, and yet all she wanted to do was run and hide. Why couldn't she see everything as clearly as I could? I'd be sure and ask her in the morning.

But then, morning actually came - and without the burlap curtain of sheer grief that covered everything the previous day, the situation appeared slightly different.

"What the hell is  _wrong_ with me?!" I yelled at my reflection, combing through my sopping wet hair as violently as the pick would allow and breaking so many strands I could almost hear my scalp screaming. "Has somebody been slipping mind-altering drugs into my water again?! 'Oh, baby, stop fighting it! It's only  _THE MOST WRONG THING EVER TO BE PROPOSED!_ ' Oh my  _God,_  I must be out of my fucking tree!"

I had spent almost an hour in the shower, trying to cleanse my skin of the things I had done last night - but of course, all I managed was a pretty thorough sloughing, which I guess was a positive blip amidst this sea of negativity. Yay for skin care!

Why did this have to happen to us? It felt like I was wading through sludge all the time when I thought about Sabrina. She was such a great person that I felt myself drawn to her like no one before or since, and unfortunately that includes Adymm, but... at the same time, that's what scared me. What if I couldn't escape her gravitational pull? What if every time I entered her orbit I got sucked down, crashing into her seas, like I had so many times before? What if this drove a permanent wedge between my boyfriend and I - as if it weren't already trending in that direction? And let's not forget the one detail that made it all so much more daunting than it should have been...

She's not a  _HE._  On the one hand, I wanted to be all forward-thinking and disregard that part, say alternative couples were fine and dandy and that the reason I was so frightened of all this was because she's an old school friend and it would complicate things - which was  _excruciatingly_ true! But I couldn't ignore that the feelings I'd been... uh, feeling, were not normal for me. They felt wrong, and ugly, and disgusting, and every time I thought about being with Sabrina in a Biblical sense I wanted to hurl... but at the same time, I kept thinking about it more and more, and the nausea was weakening. Is it insanity for a person to be nothing less than terrified of themselves, of the evolution of their own mind and soul? If so, let me tell you, I was fast approaching Dipsy-Doodle Land.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Unwanted thoughts plagued me all the way to the reading of Gran's will. See, I figured as long as I was there I might as well hear it, and it was an activity I could participate in that wouldn't involve seeing any of my friends and facing the complete wrongness of last night. But to save you from what ended up being a really long, boring thing that didn't distract me at  _all,_  I'll tell you straight out what Gran left me.

Her  _house._  Yeah, all of a sudden I was a homeowner! Of course, I'd rather my Gran was with me, but I couldn't help but feel shocked and honoured when I found out. She also left me a savings bond that would mature on my 21st birthday worth - get this - $10,000! Student loans, say goodbye to the slow trickle of Libby Chessler's liquid assets! How was I ever supposed to not feel guilty for forgetting to stop by last December?

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

On the way back to "my" house, Dad seemed to notice I was having some trouble dealing with all of this... though he didn't know there was a whole other issue bumping around in there.

"Libby, honey," he said quietly, "I was wondering if you had made up your mind. About going home yet, that is. Maybe I shouldn't be pushing you, but-"

"No, it's okay. You told me about some kind of legal thing, right?"

"Yes," he said, glancing at me from the steering wheel of the rental car. "It's tomorrow night, and my publisher'll probably have a small aneurism if I don't show up, so... if you need to, we could stay another night, catch a flight in the morning. And we don't necessarily have to take the same 747, you could fly back on your own whenever you want. Like I said before, the ball's in your court."

As I stared out the window at the tall trees and wispy clouds, at a group of junior high kids sitting on the front steps of a convenience store gossiping, I knew I should probably get out ay-sap. Too much had happened recently - way,  _waaaay_ too much - and maybe if I gave Sabrina some space we could try one last time to grow back toward a normal, healthy friendship. It was worth it, wasn't it? I honestly believed that, with all my heart.

Nevertheless, I was about to do something I'd been doing a lot of lately.

"I can leave tomorrow."

~*~  _END Chapter Six_


	7. Freak On The Ocean

"See if you can get a piece of  _this!"_

Adymm leapt up, his lean muscles flexing in the sun as he caught the frisbee, landing deftly on the sand. "Hah!" he cried, taking a moment to steady himself. "Can't shake a Koriander's reflexes!"

"Just throw it back," a disgruntled TQ shouted back, shielding his eyes impatiently.

Laughing, I looked around; it was such a beautiful day to hit the beach. Sure, it might have been  _way_ too chilly that day to brave the water for longer than a nanosecond, but who cared? The sun was warm enough to break out the old magenta bikini from the back of my suitcase, the sound of the waves was delicious... and speaking of which, there's the view of Adymm through my sunglasses, which brought me no end of delight.

But not enough delight. That is, not enough to make me give over to it and disregard all my problems... but it went a long way toward it, at least.

By the way, the whole thing was Milnot's idea; he had heard there were one or two decent beaches in the Boston area, and figured as long as we were there we should try to have at least a half-teaspoon of fun. The idea was sound, and there we were - or there they were. I was on a blanket, trying to soak up the insubstantial sun and forget about pretty much everything as hard as I could.

An hour or two must have passed like that, with the guys alternately braving the water, tossing a frisbee around and swapping dirty jokes and stories. Every once in a while Adymm would come over to keep me company, but when I told him I wanted to nap and to go "play", he was only too happy to oblige.

Eventually, Milnot and TQ wanted to rent some bodyboards and see how they fared, but Adymm had had enough of the frigid waves and opted to crash next to me.

"Whew!" he grunted, planting his hands under his head as he laid on his back, closing his eyes against the glaring sun. "It's crazy, but this is one thing I missed about Swords - messing around by the lake. It seems like we never actually make it to the beach in New York, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I said lazily, fondly remembering dipping my toes in the lake and wishing I didn't have to go back inside that austere building again. "What a drag."

For a few moments, we relaxed, letting the wind flow over our bodies, smiling up at the scattered puffy clouds and basking in the feeling that there were good things, and they existed nearby enough that we could still touch them.

And then he said, "I'm gonna miss this. This, right here."

I sighed, though I didn't move otherwise. "Adymm-"

"Sorry," he said. "I just... I have this feeling that you didn't accept what I said back in my room as, y'know, real."

"It wasn't. It wasn't because only you said it, not me."

We spent a few more seconds gazing around the sky, hoping to think of something poignant to say. Unfortunately, there wasn't much left to say at all, and when that finally hit me, it felt like an anvil thudding into my chest.

"God..."

"I know," he sighed. "Believe me, I know."

"Well... poo." I sat up and folded my arms. "How stinky of you, Adds."

His nose crinkled at the nickname. "Ready to accept it, huh?"

"No!" I said, gesturing emphatically. "I mean... I wasn't prepared for this! We- we can't be-"

"Over." His eyebrows were knitted, but other than that he showed no outward signs of pain. "'Fraid so, Ilsa."

And my arms went limp. "You're right, but... but I'm still not ready. Why did we have to end?"

"Oh, well, that one's easy: for you and Sabr-"

"Don't go there right now," I growled, eyes flashing dangerously (which might have been more effective without the sunglasses). "There is  _no_ 'Libby and Sabrina', okay? Everybody keeps doing that! Stop working off the basis of a fact that's not even a fact yet, or I'll rip your arms off and beat you with them!"

That got his attention. He rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. "You said 'yet'. Don't lie, I heard it."

My throat stuck, and I could feel my cheeks flushing. "N-no, I didn't. Stop putting words in-"

"Libby..."

With a very,  _very_ careful glance up and down the beach, I leaned in and said, "So what if I did? Stop trying to read so much into me misspeaking!"

"It's called a Freudian Slip," he said smugly. "That means the tiny mistakes you make in speaking reveal your true-"

"Oh, blah blah blah," I cut across him. "I took Psych 101, too, y'know - but that's only a  _theory,_  get it? It doesn't mean every time I- I... oh, forget it. You're a bitch."

"Y'know, I talked to Roxie this morning," he said, fingers pulling at a loose thread in the blanket. "She said she heard Sabrina crying in the bathroom. Did you two have a lov-"

"Adymm, I swear to God, if you say 'lovers' spat', you  _will_ need a groin graft." But I relented anyway, running a hand through my hair as I absorbed, digested and filed away the information that Sabrina had been crying about this for later analysis. "Let's  _suppose_ we had some kind of argument last night. It was pretty bad, and... I may have said and done certain things hastily that probably scarred her for life. For Pete's sake, Adymm, how can I make this right?"

"Well, first of all, you have to admit to yourself that you're-"

_"DON'T YOU DARE SAY-"_

"-wrong." He grinned that evil grin that he used when he thought he was being clever. "What, did you think I was going to say something else?"

"Prick." But I bit my lip for a moment. "Nevermind what you were trying to infer in your less-than-subtle way, but... I  _know_ I was wrong. That's so obvious they can probably see it from Mir, but- but I also don't know if all the Return To Sender stamps in the world can take back those things. How can I make her see I- I really am sorry?"

"Tell her. Tell her everything you thought you said wrong, and make sure you top it off by apologising for anything else you can't remember." We lapsed into silence for a moment before he added, "Oh, and bring a peace offering; something small, but make sure it's important."

My arms folded again. "Like an Aston?"

"Hey, that worked you like Ali worked Frazier in the tenth round," he laughed. "What is it with you and cars?"

"Not  _all_ cars," I reminded him. "But... seriously, I need more help. What can I do to fix this?"

He shrugged. "Not like I'd know better than you... except when it comes to you."

My sunglasses came off for a second so I could wipe my eyes. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it in the middle of our conversation, but it wasn't just how uncomfortable I found the topic; this breakup with Adymm was doing a number on me, and even if we weren't meant to be, I was gonna miss him like hell. "How's that, eh? Bring a girl one DB7 and you think you're God's gift to-"

"You guys," he said quietly. "Somehow, I fooled myself into thinking if I hounded you enough I could conquer all, make you forget. But all along, deep in the pit of my soul... I knew it. How could I not? That Christmas in Swords Village - and maybe before that, even, but it was when you made the phone call that I knew for sure. It was always going to be her for you."

My words sounded more and more hollow and dispirited. "Please, stop doing that like you're some kind of omniscient, blue-haired demigod! I- I don't know  _anything_ for sure anymore, how can  _you?_  Christ on crutches, this can't be happening, least of all with Safreakna Spellman!"

"The way I see it, it's  _finally_ happening. She did whatever she did to sweep you off your feet back in high school - only it took you a while to look down and realise she had. Maybe I don't have you pegged like I think I do, but from where I'm sitting... you've been crazy about her from day one."

Don't ask me why it happened right then - and by all that is holy it shouldn't have, there were  _hundreds_ of moments before that were more appropriate - but the curtain rolled back, and out stepped the Wizard, revealed at last. Adymm was absolutely right, in every way, shape and form, and it blew me away. Despite all the doubts and fears, the disgust at myself and shame at my actions, I found those were fading into something golden against my will. I could run, I could hide, I could deny and slander, and I could kiss all the coworkers I wanted... but the undercurrent had me, and all the flailing in the world couldn't keep me from drowning in Sabrina.

"Whoa..."

"Yeah,  _there_ it is," he said with a smile, watching my features carefully for the moment they changed.

"You think you're  _soooo_ smart." I took a deep breath, noticing most of my body was shaking with the weight of my revelation. "Heh, I  _do_ need a medic..."

"Come again?"

"Nevermind." Slowly, I turned to look directly into his face, my lip quivering (again). I wanted to fight, I wanted to struggle at least for the sake of it, but by then I knew it would only delay the inevitable. "How can you sit there like that and be so... so casual about this, about losing what we had? Don't you care about- that I'll miss you, being yours?"

He waffled for a moment. "Yes and no. I won't miss you because you'll still be around - at least, I hope. We were friends before, and we will be again. There's always the band, and hey; you're going to be happy, and maybe I will, too, eventually. But... I'll miss the holding. That, I'm gonna miss with a vengeance."

"Then... then can we?"

A sigh. "Libby, it's not-"

"Please. One last spoon, here by the ocean. I- I can't not have that. You owe it to me, okay?  _We_ owe it to... to the memories. To the 'us' that was."

For a split second, I thought  _he_ actually might start crying. "Of course. Even though you're not my girl anymore, you'll always be my queen."

And then he opened his arms, and I was enveloped in that warm, safe lovers' embrace... for the last time.

~*~  _END Chapter Seven_


	8. Searching For Libby Chessler

The sun was still fairly high in the sky as I worked sand out of every crevasse on my body, hoping I-  _hey,_  stop that thinking about my crevasses! Perv. Okay, take two.

The sun was still fairly high in the sky as I showered, sad to lose that beachy smell but also not wanting to suffer any unnamed discomforts (hah). My strategy was gradually coming together, but I only had one night to cover a lot of ground. Unfortunately, one thought bogged me down perpetually: was this even going to matter? With her amazing abilities, all this effort could be futile! But I had to do something and pray to any deity that would listen that it would work, or at least help.

Fortunately, I knew just where to start - that is, I  _hoped_ I did, and desperately so as I sat there listening to the phone ring.

"Hello?"

"Ophelia!" I sighed with relief. "Thank God you answered, I need your help!"

"What, what's wrong?" she said rapidly. "Are you okay?"

"No, no," I said impatiently. "Why does everybody keep thinking I'm dying? Listen, I need you to grab Roxie and meet me over here post haste, but - and I can't stress this enough -  _don't_ bring Sabrina, or even let her know you're coming. Can you do that?"

"Well, I dunno," Ophelia said nervously. "You haven't been over here; the situation's pretty tense, and I get this cuckoo impression that Roxie doesn't like you so much anymore."

"Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual," I snapped. "Just tell her that if she comes over here for nothing, I'll... I'll let her chew on my entrails or something fun like that."

"Eww, that's disgusting!"

"Ain't it? Now please, get a move on!" Then I hung up, pushed the "ON" button on the receiver again and dialed another number, double-checking the phone book as I did so.

"Hmmnh... hello?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Harvey Kinkle?"

"This is..."

"Harvey, it's me, Libby Chessler!"

"Whanghh?  _Oh!"_ I could almost see him sitting upright, rubbing the sleep from his face. "Hey, Libby! How's it going?"

"Um, kinda good, kinda not. Listen..." I glanced around like a felon, then said, "can you help me with a small problem? It involves our favourite blonde."

"Oh... might've known it'd be about Sabrina. Sorry, I'd rather not talk about her, it's... y'know, painful."

My frown was pronounced. "I know, and believe me I wouldn't put you through this if I had elsewhere to turn, but... I desperately need a favour. And you don't have to act all secretive, I know about the witchcraft and everything."

"What, really?!" A cough. "Uh, I mean, what witchcraft? Who's a witch? What are you-"

"Cut the baloney!" Privately, I smiled; he obviously still cared about her enough to not expose her, and being that Sabrina meant the world to me all of a sudden, I was grateful. "She used some kind of transportation spell to save me from getting hit by a semi; I don't think I'll be blabbing anytime soon. But... I was wondering if you could tell me any more about this than I know."

"Oh." He actually sounded quite relieved at being able to speak freely. "Well, why don't you ask her?"

"I... I can't. She's not exactly speaking to me right now. Do you have a minute? Oh, and you may want to brace yourself, 'cause this story will take some downright Shyamalanian turns..."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The expression on Roxie's face was less than warm. "This had  _better_ be good, or I'll be expecting your entrails served en flambé, Cheerless."

"It is, Heartless." I held the door open wide, letting the three of them walk in. Wait... three?

"Howdy doo, girlfriend!" Morgan bubbled, bouncing over the threshold and into my grandmother's home, completely uninvited, and giving me a spine-crushing bear hug. "What's all the hubbub, Lubb?"

"Uhh, hi, Morgan!" I cried, glancing over her back at Ophelia, who merely shrugged resignedly. "What are- I mean, what brings you out this way?"

"Your crisis, silly!" Without wasting a moment, she flopped down on the couch next to Roxie. "Let's get down to business; what are we doing, and how many credit cards have we maxed out?"

I clapped my hands together, plastering a fake smile across my face. "Yes, well... excuse me one moment." Pulling Ophelia aside, I hissed into her ear, "What in the flipping hell is  _she_ doing here?!"

"What she does best - or so Roxie says." Ophelia glanced over her shoulder, then turned back to me. "We tried to shake her loose, but as soon as Roxie mentioned your name she got all excited. I'm sorry, this ruins everything, doesn't it?"

"Well... not really, I suppose. Let me think a minute..."

Ophelia went back and found the armchair I had been talking to Jenny in as I paced, trying to figure out how to do this with an obstacle (What? It's true!) like Morgan there. However, when I really thought about it, this was a blessing in a highly-glossed disguise.

"Okay, Morgan, here's your assignment," I commanded, holding out a folded scrap of paper. "You are to go to the mall-"

"YAY!"

"-and get the items on this list, and those items only; then, take them to the address provided. Melchior's phone number's on there, too, so I'd appreciate it if you call him and tell him to get things rolling, as well. I'll reimburse you for all of it, don't worry." Then I thought better of it. "And while you're there, pick up a nice fragrance for Sabrina. It has to suit  _her,_  though, not just be expensive and-or trendy."

She pouted slightly, looking at the list. "Well, shnikies, take all the fun out of a shopping spree, why don'tcha?" When I only glared, she gave me this put-upon sigh. "I'm going, I'm going. What about them?"

"They're with me," I said quickly. "Now, go go go!"

"Yessir!" And - thank God - out she went.

"That was mean," Roxie commented. "Using her like that."

"Yeah, well, it would take way too long to give her the rundown, and my time is very limited." I took a deep breath to start in on the topic at hand, but I was detoured.

"Is that because you're going to try to commit suicide again?"

The room was deadly quiet. Both Ophelia and I gawked at Roxie for a few moments... before Ophelia's eyes drifted to the bandage on my wrist.

"Goddess, no..."

"Why do you do that?" I demanded of Roxie. "Jump to conclusions like a hopscotch grandmaster! Did I  _say_ I tried to commit suicide? Did you find some angsty note I-"

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!" Roxie shouted, jumping to her feet. "Maybe we're not as good a friends as you and Sabrina are, but do you seriously think I can't tell? 'Just a scratch' my ass - nobody says that when it really  _is_ a scratch! Your boyfriend covering for you was sweet, and suited to the moment, but it didn't fool me for a split second! You opened up a vein, didn't you?!"

"Well, I- I-  _fine!_ " Shrugging, trying not to get any angrier about this, I held my arms to my stomach and leaned against the back of the other armchair. "So I tried, but it- it was a flash of weakness, a- a lapse in judgement! We were screaming, the whole thing with Sabrina went down, and Adymm had just- just-" And I couldn't go on, but fortunately (unfortunately?), I didn't have to.

"What happened?" Roxie demanded, shaking slightly. "Adymm did  _what?!"_

"Broke up with her," Ophelia gasped, sliding forward in her seat. "Oh, Libby..."

"It was bound to happen sooner or later." Trembling with unleaked rage and sorrow, I took several deep breaths before continuing. "He seems to have this wacked-out notion that I'm in love with somebody else, so a couple hours before I found out Gran passed away, he dropped the break-up bomb on me. Well, with everything else that was happening it was one thing too much, so I grabbed some of his gothy jewelry, and do I have to keep going?" To punctuate the end of the story, I ripped off the bandage and revealed the disfiguring scab.

"No, Libby!" Ophelia said, tearing up a little. "Why? Why would you want to leave us?"

"I- I don't," I whispered, sliding into the chair. "It was stupid, I was overtaxed. Thinking clearly, I would never throw it all away like that, but... I dunno. I'm sorry, you guys."

" _You're_ sorry?!" Roxie sobbed. Wait,  _what?!_

Yeah. When I looked up, tears were flowing down Roxie's face, which is a truly startling event to witness in one's lifetime. Had Roxie  _ever_ cried? Probably not, but here she was, doing it in Gran's - my - living room, trembling from the effort it must have taken to force open those tear ducts. In her defense, though, this qualified as "serious shit", that's for certain.

"Roxie-"

"How can you sit there and apologise to me when I practically  _KILLED_ you?! 'Cause... if that was the day you found out your grandmother died, then I must have just threatened you Mafia-style, which happened fairly soon after you and Sabrina had that huge fight... which happened after you had to watch Sabrina and Ophelia griping each other out in the bowling alley. Christ Almighty, how could I have thought heaping  _more_ animosity and bad vibes on you would  _help_ things?!"

Twitching, I sighed. "Roxie, it's okay, you couldn't know I was about to-"

 _"DIE."_ She was sniffling, and now I could see that she was angry about letting herself cry,  _especially_ in front of anyone. "You were about to die, dammit! Libby, I've been blaming you for everything, when obviously you're not bouncing Sabrina's heart around on a string for kicks." She looked up into my eyes. "You really do love her, don't you?"

My cheeks pinkened. "Uhh, l-let's cross that bridge when I'm not worried about falling off."

She shook her head, smiling through her pain. "Well, I can tell you do, and that's enough. I thought you were treating Sabrina like a cheap diversion, but instead you were feeling all the same pains she was the whole time. Can you forgive me for almost making you off yourself with random pagan metals?"

"Hey," Ophelia put in, "just because they're gothy doesn't mean... doesn't mean that this is the right time for that kind of comment. Shutting up, now."

"No, it's okay - both of you." I still felt horrible, but at the back of my stomach was this secret hint that things had just gotten a lot better. My hand moved to form a cross in midair as I said, "I absolve you guys of all wrongs done, great and small."

As they both laughed, I laughed, too. In fact, we were headed for a giggle fit when the doorbell rang.

"Excuse me," I said, and opened the door to reveal...

Duh.

~*~  _END Chapter Eight_


	9. Libby Up The Girl

"Sabrina! Wh-what-"

"Good afternoon, Libby."  _Wow,_  was her voice cold; it sent shivers down my spine, and the fact that I could almost feel her energy crackling around her didn't bring about good feelings, either. "How's every little thing?"

"Uhh..." That was all I could come up with as she strode past me into the living room.

"And look! Here we have Roxie and Ophelia. Where's Morgan and the band, or didn't they get invited to the pow-wow?"

"Sabrina-"

"What are you doing?" she demanded quietly as she turned to me. "Because if I didn't know better, I'd say this looked like you were all talking behind my back. But why would you do that?"

"Sabrina," Roxie bravely ventured, "it... it's complicated."

"You're telling them, aren't you?" she whispered to me, trying to do it quietly enough so our two companions couldn't hear. _"Everything."_

"No!"

"You are." She sighed, throwing her hands in the air. "Why did I think for a second that I could trust you? Change though you might, you're still the same gossip you were in high school. I can't believe I let my guard down."

"Now, that's not fair," I said, almost getting angry... but I was too hurt. "I never said I was going to tell them, and here you are just assuming everything, like everybody else does these days!"

"What am I  _supposed_ to think?!" At that point I could tell she was getting too worked up to be able to control her words, and it's lucky I noticed because... "That Westbridge's busiest busybody could somehow manage to keep this juicy news under her hat? Hey everybody, guess what? Sabrina Spellman, journalism major extrordinaire, is really a w-"

My hands became the Hoover Dam.

"Let's take this into the bedroom," I hissed pointedly.

 _"NO!"_ she snarled, ripping my hands away from her mouth. "You seriously think I'm  _ever_ going in there with  _you_ again?! Hell no, not after last time!"

It was my turn to be the ice queen again; I didn't have to see the shocked stares from Roxie and Ophie to know they existed, and the sudden venting of our dirty laundry in front of them was enough to freeze me over but good. "The kitchen, then.  _Now."_

Luckily, the fact that I was now as deadly serious as she was made her listen, and she crossed her arms and stomped into the kitchen.

"A minute?" I said over my shoulder to Ophelia and Roxie, not bothering to wait for a reply as I swept after the blonde... though I think I heard Ophelia mutter, "Great Scott..."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"You are an absolute bitch!" she began as I walked in behind her. "Of all the bitches there ever were since the dawn of mankind, you are without a doubt the-"

"Are you  _comatose?!"_ I hissed in her ear. "You almost broadcasted your own secret to the living room at large! Is your head screwed on right?"

"How can I tell them what they already know? Or..." That was a funny look, trust me. "Oh. Wow, geez, you really didn't do it, huh? Now I feel like-"

"An  _idiot,_ " I finished, hands on hips. "You should. And for your information, Ophelia's on to you, so it might be wise to keep a tighter lid on it around her."

"She... what?" The anger in her eyes had almost completely abated by then. "How would  _she_ know?"

"Something about sniffing out your chi or whatever," I snapped dismissively. "But she  _knows_ \- or at least has a damn good idea. How big of a poser is she  _now?_ "

That put the colour back in her cheeks. "Maybe she's not. Gosh, I don't even know why I got so upset with her over the whole Wicca deal; what's wrong with me? Man... maybe  _I'm_ the absolute bitch."

Silence. Itchy silence, at that. Neither of us could think of a good launching point as we shuffled around the thousands of unapproachable subjects we were surrounded by on all sides, until at last...

"Thanks," she muttered. "For helping me not get myself de-witchified."

"Sure. It was the least I could do, after..."

Then our eyes locked, and in hers I could see something that turned my stomach. It was the same thing that had spurred me onward the previous night, causing me to commit grievous sins and generally louse everything up, but only now could I see it - now that her rage had died down.

"Oh my God," I gasped. "But, no, I- I-"

"Don't," she whispered. "I don't think you can."

"But I have to try! Sabrina, you're... you're  _scared_ of me! How can- that's not- I don't want that!"

"Wouldn't you be scared of me if I tried to- to-"

" _No._ " On the verge of crying already, I clutched the counter for support. "That is, you have to understand, I wouldn't have done that, even if you hadn't thrown me off! I'm not that kind of person!"

"But you are! You're the kind of person who controlls everything, who has to make it all about her without considering what anybody else thinks or wants!" She looked at me for a moment, as if trying to read a signpost in a foreign language. "Or... you were before, and you were again last night. When you tried to... force me."

"I know that, I do!" I breathed, fighting down the temptation to run away... or toward. "But I- I didn't mean-"

"Who are you? Are you Libby Chessler, the cheerleader teen queen? Are you Cheerless, the goth rocker with a heart of gold? Or are you Libbs, Adymm's Ivy League girlfriend? Or... God, I can't ever be comfortable with you if I don't know who you are!"

This might have been the wrong time, but it had to be addressed sooner or later. "Well, I'm not that last one anymore. Adymm and I broke up... or, well, he dumped my ass like a sack of moldy potatoes."

She winced at the analogy. "What?! Libby, I- I had no idea, I- are you okay? Of course you're not, why did I ask that?"

"You don't have to be nice to me about it. After what I did to you... yeah, you're right. I can't make amends for it, maybe as long as I live." My eyes dropped to the floor. "And maybe I am kind of all over the place right now, and- and I'm sorry that it seems to mean you getting stepped on. You should probably steer clear of me and my drama."

"Sound advice," she agreed. "Except... I'm not sure I can."

"Huh?"

"For the same reasons I can't handle this, I don't think I can distance myself from it, either. Holy hamburgers, would it make things easier if I could! But... but things are never easy, at least nothing important. Just, tell me one thing, please?"

My heart was all of a flutter, don't ask me why. "Name it."

But she didn't answer at first; she just stared at the linoleum, then at the refrigerator, and finally at the ceiling fan as she asked, "Why do you have a budding scar on your wrist? Is it my fault? Because if it is-"

"Sabrina, it's okay," I soothed, reaching for her arm automatically - but she backed out of reach. "You don't have to worry like that, it's just a scratch."

"That looks mighty deep to be caused by an errant wire hanger," she said, her voice shaking. "I- I didn't mention it yesterday out of respect, b-but... tell me, how can I change? How can I not cause you to- to do crazy stuff like that? If it's the magic, consider it gone; it's not worth having if-"

"You didn't do anything wrong!" She needed to stop killing me with kindness, because it truly was shredding me apart inside. "I- I almost raped your brains out last night, how can you care what happens to me? Can you really be that perfect?"

And once more, we entered The Weirdness Zone.

"Stop," she whispered, looking meeker by the moment. "Don't call me that."

"But you are!" Inwardly waving the white flag, I moved toward her, and this time she only tensed noticeably. "I've done things to you that could probably get me hanged in some countries, and yet you somehow care about some half-assed suicide attempt? Jesus, we should be cloning you!"

"Suicide!" she squeaked, the delicate hand returning to her mouth. "So you did; you... Libby, no!"

"It- it's not like you think," I said hurriedly, shifting uncomfortably; how could I put her mind at ease about something this uneasy? "It was one of those momentary lapses of sanity, I- I hadn't had much sleep, I wasn't thinking straight, and- and once I took a breath and realised what I was doing, it-"

"Was it my fault?" When I didn't answer, she grabbed me by the shoulders, her stubby, chewed-down nails (something else that was my doing?) digging into my flesh even though my shirt. "Why won't you say anything?! Did I seriously drive you to such drastic measures?!"

"No, not  _just_ you," I began lamely. Lying was a bad policy, but it was hard to be honest without the accompanying brutality. "It was everything building up into one big-"

 _"NO!"_ she blubbered, slipping to the floor, arms falling around my legs. "No, Libby, no!"

I started freaking out myself as I watched her. "S-Sabrina!"

"You can't! You... I never wanted you to die! Please, God, don't die, don't die on me..."

"I'm not!" I shushed as I knelt beside her, holding her head under my chin without even thinking about it. "Come on, look, I'm fine! I don't know why you should care exactly, b-but you don't have to worry! It's okay, I'm okay!"

But she didn't say anything else; instead, she sobbed into my arms, making unintelligible noises for a while before she gave up on talking completely. Without real reason, I glanced around automatically for someone, anyone to make her feel better, but of course there was only us - it was entirely up to me. No matter how much I wanted her in my arms, which was a question I didn't have the answer for, I kept wishing it had happened some other way. Some way that didn't involve her heart breaking again.

~*~  _END Chapter Nine_


	10. Cheers For Fears

"Back," I said as I slipped into the living room again.

"Well?" Roxie demanded bluntly. "Where'd Sabrina go?"

"She's... in there. Snoring away on the kitchen floor, with a dishtowel as a pillow. I mean... hell, I don't have nerve enough to move her."

"So, what happened?" Ophelia asked.

"Shit," I said. "Shit happened." Sighing, I sat between them on the couch, running my fingers through my hair and staring at the coffee table. "We were having a fairly normal argument-slash-apology-slash-breakthrough, when she asked me about the cut on my wrist, and then... then there was no stopping her weeping over it. It was so unreal, I- I can't believe it matters that much to her! She, uh... cried herself to sleep."

"God," Roxie whispered. "You two are deep in it, aren't you?"

My eyes rolled of their own accord. "What does that  _mean?!_  Honestly..."

"What are you gonna do now?" Ophelia twirled a few green strands of her hair absentmindedly. "'Cause my opinion might not count for jack in this situation, but it seems to me the time has come to-"

"Don't rush me. I mean, we can't all jump on top of girls we take a shine to on the subway and have that be the end of it, right?"

The explosion wasn't unexpected. "Hey! You say that like I was-"

"Sorry," I cut her off. "That was supposed to be a lame joke, but... I guess it mostly came out as harsh."

Ophelia's indignant glare relaxed. "'S'okay. You're in a state of flux, there have to be allowances."

"Meanwhile," Roxie said doggedly, "you've got a blonde on your kitchen floor who can't seem to survive without you. What's your move?"

With a deep breath, I leaned back. "Exactly the same cheesy B-movie plan I was going to deploy before she dropped by - it's all I've got. The only difference is, now I'm going to mean it ten times more than I did before, if that was even possible. With God as my witness, though, I don't think I'm ready for this."

"We'll be there to back you up," she replied confidently, and Ophelia nodded her consensus.

"You will  _not!"_ I half-shouted. "There's no way I'll be able to do  _anything_ with you watching! No, I... I appreciate it, but I can do this by myself. I have to. But I will need your help with a few details."

"Speaking of 'help'," Ophelia asked, "did you actually send Morgan after something important, or was that a ruse to remove her from the situation?"

"Yes... and yes," I giggled weakly.

Roxie frowned. "She's right, that windtunnel should have been back by now."

"Oh, she wasn't supposed to come back," I said, sitting up and grabbing for the cordless on the coffee table. "But still, she must be done by now. Let me check... what's her number?" Roxie told me - I would print it here, but I'd only have to change it to 555-something. It's some kind of literary rule. "Thanks."

 _RING... RING..._ "Hellooo?"

"Morgan, it's Libby - how's everything going?"

"Well, there were a couple doodads on your list that I couldn't dig up, but I found some generic things that should work well enough. Also, that Melchior guy seems like a - well, a thug! It's all good so far, but are you sure you trust him with whatever this project is?"

"I don't have much choice right about now, do I? Meanwhile, how about those extra-special items, are they ready?"

"Everything, up to and including the perfume! I think you'll be pleased. That Prisoner thing, though... they only had hardback, and it was pricier than I thought it would be so you're going to-"

"If this stuff cost you two million dollars I would make sure you get every red cent back," I promised. "Just make sure it's gravy."

"Okie-dokie! Now... you sure I can't know exactly what it is I'm doing this for?"

"Very. Thanks, Morgan."

"But-"  _CLICK._

With yet another sigh, I glanced at Rox and Ophie. "Golden. And you guys are going to have a very important job, and there's a couple stops we have to make, but I need to make another call before we get this show on the road."

"Are you ever going to put that thing down?!" Roxie demanded as I dialed.

"This is important."  _RING... RING..._ "Room 118, please." More ringing.

"Yeah?"

"Put Adymm on, TQ."

"Sure, hang on!" More waiting.

"Hey."

"Tell me I'm good enough."

"For... what?"

I fidgeted impatiently; out of the corner of my eye, I could see an exchange of sympathetic glances. "Please, I need it. You're the only other person who can tell me that and make me believe it, and if I want to actually pull this off without-"

"You're more than worthy, Libby; always have been. Would it help if I paid a skywriter?"

My smile was probably the saddest one yet. "Still taking care of me."

"Any time you need it. Lots of luck, Libbs."

"Thanks... I'll need it."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The parking lot was nearly deserted as Roxie and I pulled into it, though Morgan's cherry-red piece of eye candy was there... taking up two spaces. Typical.

"Here we are," Roxie said, putting the brake on.

"Yep," I gusted, my stomach already tying itself in knots long before it needed to. "Thanks for the ride."

"Sure." A few seconds had us sitting around, looking like fools and trying to come up with words. Then, Roxie leaned over and kissed me.

Unfortunately, I mean that just like it sounds; she planted a big sloppy one right on my lips, complete with hand behind my head. She was a real manhandler! After the shock wore off, I pushed her back into the drivers' seat by her face.

"Do you  _MIND?!"_ I growled.

"Just wanted to see what all the fuss was about," she muttered, wiping her lip with a Kleenex. "Y'know... before you're spoken for."

"Shut up," I sighed, trying to regain composure. "You're erratic."

She laughed quietly. "Am I? You keep avoiding the issue, but... c'mon, we both know what this is all boiling down to. Why do you feel this need to be all Garbo about it?"

"Because." It was a copout answer, and her folding arms told me it hadn't worked. "Geez, Rox, it's not like I've done this before, and- and I'm still not used to the idea! But... but it's too important to wait for comfort. Besides, I don't want to jinx anything by voicing certain things aloud."

"You're so cute!" she said mockingly, pinching my cheek. "My poor widdle wesbian!"

"I am NOT!" I protested somewhat futilely. "And that hurt!"

"My bad. So... can I have Adymm now?"

"Well, it-  _excuse_ me?!"

Suddenly, she appeared to be uncomfortable. The fuck?! "I'm kind of serious, actually. I mean, that's bad, and extremely soon, I know. I probably don't even register on his emotional Geiger counter, since he's been focused on you so much... but every time we've spoken I get this feeling like we might be able to make a decent run at a relationship." After a moment, she hurriedly added, "Though if you wanna invoke Ex-Girlfriend's Right Of Prior Property, I'll totally understand!"

Everything reeled. "I, uhh... well... ask me again later, when I can think about anything."

"Sorry," she said earnestly. "You're right, piss-poor timing. But... hey, I hope whatever you're going to do works, because if anybody deserves a little happiness, it's Cheerless and Cheerful."

Snickering, I popped open the door, grabbing my handbag and the crucial garment box. "And who would you and Adymm be? Mindless and Mindful?"

"Sure, why not?" She grinned at me. "We'll be back with your precious cargo, and we'll make sure she's all decked out for the occasion. You gonna be ready in under an hour?"

"Of course not, but I should at least be able to get rid of Morgan in that time. Thanks, Roxie."

"Good luck, Loobyloo!"

And off she drove, leaving me to walk toward the double doors that I hoped would lead to the rest of my life - and even if it all went wrong in there, if the Powers That Be decided I wasn't meant to have this, I promised myself I would be content in the knowledge that I tried as hard as I could. It didn't do a thing to keep my stomach from continuing its performance of "The Bump" below my ribcage. Was I absolutely, unquestionably ready for one last push?

~*~  _END Chapter Ten_


	11. How The Westbridge Was Won

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go.

"What time is it, Melchior?"

Sighing, he looked at his watch. "Almost a minute after the last time you asked. Damn, girl, buy yourself a bag of patience!" A wicked smile. "Actually, if you may be interested, I got a potnah who could hook you up with the-"

"Shut up," I spat, smoothing out the wrinkles in my dress. "Oh, this was a terrible idea. A horrible idea. A terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad-"

"It's a hot mess, I get it!" With a shake of his head, he went to check the sound system for the third time, but right as he got to the booth, I heard a car door slam from the parking lot.

"Shit, it's showtime! Quick-"

"Yeah, I'm on it," he hissed, punching about a thousand buttons. "And I'mma bounce as soon as you give the signal, which I have memorised."

"You sure? Tell me what it is again, I need to be-"

"Look," he sighed (again), leaning on the table and taking the toothpick out of his mouth. "You know I owe cousin Mil a favour - and for real, me and that punkinhead square now - but you better stop trippin' or you can do this shit yourself. And just 'cause that Prozac-poppin' redhead friend of yours can't take a hint to save her life don't mean my skull's made of concrete, too. So be calm, and all will be calm, feel me?"

I frowned, trying to resist the temptation to run my hand through my hair or rub my arm. "Sorry, sorry... thanks for everything, by the way. I- I mean that. I'm just-"

"Ain't no thang."

When the speakers finally hummed to life (it seemed like it happened way too late, but it's only because I was so nervous my vibrations could have powered a thousand watches for a decade), a fleet of strings began playing. Ye olde mirror ball dropped down from the ceiling and lit up, casting that spotty, intergalactic ambiance around the room that it tends to create, and everything else looked perfect. Correction: everything  _was_ perfect... except me. I was totally out of my mind and I knew it, but now it was way,  _way_ too late to cancel everything... because she was at the door.

"Thanks for dropping me off, for whatever reason!" she shouted after the receding engine roar of Roxie's car. Her words were moderately terse. "Oh, and thank you again for making me stuff myself into this getup - while  _blindfolded!_  I really,  _really_ owe you guys!" Then, the door opened, and in she walked.

Her jaw dropped immediately as a black handkerchief fell from her hand to the floor. "What the...?"

Not daring to make a sound, I watched as she looked all around the gymnasium, taking in the balloons, the wooden floor, the suits of armour.

"Why is it... Prom? This- this doesn't..." Yet still I couldn't speak. Even though I knew it would probably be smart to speak up right about then, for some reason I couldn't; I didn't want to disturb her before she was finished exploring the room. "And... is that 'Tonight, Tonight' playing?"

"Yeah," I whispered, though I don't think she could hear me; she was still halfway across the room. Behind my back, I waved the peace sign (it was the easiest-yet-unmistakeable signal I knew), and I saw Melchior nod out of the corner of my eye before he disappeared through the boys' locker room.

"It's all here," she breathed. "The peasant huts and castle courtyard backdrops, the- the refreshments, and the decor, and that cheesy disco ball, and..." Then she looked down, took a double take at what she was wearing, and looked back up at me. "Libby... the dresses. These are the dresses."

"Yeah," I whispered again.

"But... how in the hell did you get our Junior Prom formal wear? These- and how am I still fitting into it?!" she demanded, moving her hand over her abdomen. "I could've sworn I gained a few pounds in the past two years!"

"Not from where I'm standing," I said before I realised how slutty it was. Luckily, she was too blown away by the whole grand scale to pick up on that.

"Where did you get these - all of this? It's surreal, and amazing, and... and how?!"

"Here and there," I said quietly, a shy smile forming in response to her wonderment. "The dance floor and suits of armour and stuff were in the theatre department's prop room, and I remembered most of the decisions on streamers and junk from when we were on Prom Planning Committee."

"But the dresses, Chessler!" she said, gawking at mine. "They... I can't believe you found them!"

"Your aunts had yours. I- I stopped by on the way over here and pleaded with them to find it, and luckily you hadn't thrown it out or taken it with you to the college house. As for mine, I'd stashed it at my Gran's when I moved to New York."

"Holy crap," she breathed, not quite done glancing around at everything. "And... and you're even playing the Pumpkins. It's- it's perfect. It's absolutely perfect."

"I'm glad you like it."

 _Then_ it hit her; her eyes went to me, and she cocked her head to the side. "But... but  _why_ is it perfect? Why are we here, why- what is all this, Libby?"

"It's for you. See, with Gran dying, and all the other hurdles to clear and dealing to do, something very important kinda fell through the cracks. I wanted to say... thanks for saving my life. You've done that at least twice now, and probably yet more times that you had to erase from my memory. So... thank you, Sabrina. Thanks a billion."

Her hand went to her chest almost automatically. "Aww... oh Libby, it was my privilege. C'mon, I couldn't let my best friend get herself frozen or squished, now, could I?"

That got me grinning, but after a few seconds I cleared my throat and pressed on bravely. "Well, not knowing how else to approach something that huge, I figured I might try to fix our Prom; give us a second chance to do it better, y'know? Let's face it, last time I ruined the whole shebang single-handedly."

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "No pun intended, right?"

"Well... maybe a little," I giggled nervously. "But... but I am sorry I slapped you. Sabrina, God, I'm so sorry for all the ways I've made your life a giant craphole of pain."

She shook her head slightly. "C'mon, what are-"

"I'm sorry I slapped you, and sorry I avoided you for weeks, and sorry I tried to bribe you with a car! I'm sorry I slobbered on you at the rave, and sorry I made you eat sushi, and sorry I yelled at you in the rain, and sorry I eavesdropped on you, and sorry I was such a right-wing nut about your secret, and sorry I almost raped you, and sorry I made you worry, and sorry I made you sad, and sorry about all the awful, terrible, mean, nasty things I ever said or did to you! God, I'm just-"

"Wait, wait - let me take a wild stab at this. You're sorry?"

She was right - I was babbling. Therefore, I simply nodded.

"Libby," she sighed, shoulders drooping as she rolled her eyes. "Geez Louise, you didn't have to hijack the gym to apologise to me. A simple plate of brownies or something would've been plenty."

"Those aren't the only reasons we're here, though." Fidgeting to a ridiculous degree, I stepped forward. "It's... it's about more than that. Much, much more."

"Ahh." And as she stared at me, I could see her beginning to act twitchy, too. The camouflage of this flashy display could only disguise my true intentions for so long, right? "Is- is that so? Well, then, pray tell, Goody Chessler - why doest thee tarry here?"

"What? Stop sounding like some kind of jousting champ, this is important!"

"It can't be," she whispered, avoiding my eyes. Her worst fears were realised, and while I understood that it was all my fault, neither could I ignore the way things were anymore. Evidently, though, she could, and desperately wanted to. "I don't think I can talk about this, because I- I'm not ready. Do you understand that? I'm not-"

"Can you at least hear me out?"

"No! No, I don't think I can try without wanting to book!" I saw her foot stomp under the hemline of her dress. "Dammit, Libby, I can't handle it, okay? I just... just-"

"You're why I sing."

And she fell silent, staring at the floor with her fists clenched by her hips as if tensed to run away at a moment's notice.

"It's... it's not the only reason, obviously," I began slowly, trying to fight the urge to throw up or hide under the refreshment table or do something even more drastic. Did my voice have to quaiver like that? "There's personal fulfillment, and the rest of the band, and the handful of fans, but... but I sing for you. Do you know why?"

Obviously, she didn't answer. My tongue wetted my lips before I dove ahead.

"Because you're the only reason my life has any meaning. It's like, without the thought of you, I have no motivation to get up in the morning and make something of my pitiful life. When I sing, I think about all the things that have ever mattered in my life, like Gran, and my parents - despite everything, that is, and the guys playing behind me... but, most of all, I think of you. Even as long ago as when I graduated from Swords, when I belted out 'Wish You Were Here'... it held a very personal meaning for me, 'cos there was somebody I missed so bad it burned."

"Libby-"

"In that freakly way you do, you showed me love in the face of my hate, in spite of the awful excuse for a person I was, and... and it opened whole new areas of my heart that had been roped off as condemned. You waved your magic wand and turned a materialistic Pinocchio into a real girl. My voice comes from you."

"That's... that's pretty swell of you to say, Libby," she said, and I could tell she was tearing up. "But... I'm not sure I can accept any deeper meaning than that you admire me as a friend. M-maybe that's not what you're intending, but... but yeah."

That wasn't going to deter me, not now. "Sabrina, for reasons beyond my comprehension, I need you. Those faces you make in uncomfortable situations - like that one," and she almost smiled. "The way your laughter rings in my ears like silver bells... how warm your smile and your spirit are. Life without those things is like living in the desert - all alone, with only tumbleweeds and lizards to break the monotony."

"So which am I," she quipped shakily, "a lizard or a-"

"You're the mountains. Deep, and high, and green and brown and white, and full of animals and trees, and majestic, and breathtaking! There's no way I could ever experience all you have to offer, and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to take it in anyway, but- but I want to. Like I told you last night, there's just so much of you, and I can't help but get lost in it every time, and - the funny part is, I thought I didn't want that, but I do! I want to see more and more until I've seen all there is, and then I want to start over from the beginning!"

"You have to stop this," she said desperately. Sweat was beading at her temples, and her eyes continued to avoid mine. "I- I can't let myself hear any more, it's- it's just too-"

"No!" I swallowed hard. "No, you  _do_ have to hear it, because it's the truth. What you do with that truth is up to you, but this has to be said, or I'm afraid I'll shrivel up and croak!" When she glared up at me briefly, eyes dangerous and reproachful, I coughed. "Uh, that is- sorry, I didn't mean that the way it came out."

"I hope not, because that gash on your wrist means you don't get to joke about stuff like that anymore."

"But I'm not joking. I mean every word I'm saying, don't doubt that."

"And they hurt," she said, finally looking at me again. Why did she look so... empty? "The words, they hurt because I can't do anything with them. Don't you see? It's too much - I can't shoulder being that, I- I can barely shoulder being Sabrina The Teenage Witch! God, even if a broadcast network made a sitcom about my life they wouldn't be so cruel as to turn me into a- a-"

"I know," I said quietly to save her from having to go through with it. "And, fact is, I can't say it, either. I've been trying, so maybe I could get more used to the idea, but... it's not working."

"Then how? How do you expect-"

"However it takes." Wiping my eyes, I stepped toward her, and she didn't even bother to react; all the heavy topics were so much bigger than spatial distance. "Sabrina, you and I can't seem to stop hurting each other, and- and for a long time, I thought it was because the fossilised ice queen within kept rearing its ugly head to strike out at you. But now I know better. There's only one thing that can hit this hard, sting this bad, and leave such nasty, disfiguring scars."

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't say it, I can't know this."

"Love. It's always been a more powerful force than hate, right? Just a taste of it can drive people crazy! Sure, hate has some hefty mojo of its own, but..." Sighing, I shook my head. "See, while I thought our friendship was falling apart because of some residual petty issues from high school, it was really fighting to grow, fighting against our wills for things to stay the same."

"Stop this!" she shouted, folding her arms. "Y-you're totally jumping the gun, or to conclusions, y... and I can't help but wonder if it's because of your grandmother dying, that you feel like you need to grab onto some-"

"Don't you  _even_ go there," I warned, simultaneously feeling the knife blade twist deep within my guts as a fresh pang of loss shot icewater into my veins. "That has  _nothing_ to do with this."

"I can't be this for you; why won't you listen?!" Her eyes were shining, even as they narrowed at me, challenging me. "Maybe I do like you, but I can't like you the way you want me to, I won't let myself, I- it feels so  _wrong,_  so unnatural!"

 _"Dammit,_  Sabrina!" She had finally made me as angry as she was, though neither of us were really that angry with each other. "You think I  _wanted_ this? That my master plan was to string Adymm along until I could get up the nerve to come out, to hop the sexuality fence and let my fag flag fly?! You think I meant to fall for you?!"

There was a visible wince from both of us when I said it. For her part, she turned away slightly, but she didn't run away, and she didn't say anything hurtful. She just stared at the hardwood.

"Everybody always says you can't help who you fall in love with; that it's just fate, and you kind of get swept along by it. Well, gee, let's see if we have any living proof lying around here - oh, wait!"

"Please, Libby..."

Forcing my tone to return to normal, I took another step toward her. "You have to see I mean what I'm saying, right? Th-this isn't some joke or passing fancy!"

"Jesus, what the hell do you want from me? I have little in common with a- a Gordon Gano, and I seem to remember you were all over-"

"This scares me as much as it does you - all the pitfalls, and consequences, and what people might think. But there's no stopping it. I've tried so,  _so_ hard to put all the worms back in the can, but they won't go! Sabrina..."

 _"DONT TOUCH ME!"_ My hand jerked back from her face. "D-don't, please! If you touch me, I might- I'll come undone, and I can't let that happen!  _Rrgh,_  you keep doing this to me over and over, and you seem to miss the part where it's  _KILLING ME!"_ She punctuated those last words by jabbing her hand at her own chest. "Why don't you understand that I can't?! Why won't you  _STOP?!"_

Seconds passed as the soft strains of another Pumpkins acoustic ballad echoed through the room. Nodding slightly, I stepped back, hands clasped in front of my dress.

"Okay."

~*~  _END Chapter Eleven_


	12. The Freakness In Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's too long. What? Where would I cut it? You tell me.

"What?" By that point, I think Sabrina was genuinely not expecting my advances to cease. "Wh-what did you say?"

"You're right." No longer able to keep from falling apart in the middle of the floor, I pulled out a chair at the refreshment table and sat in it. "One hundred percent."

"I... I'm right? Oh. Well... peachy." Her brow furrowed as her breathing slowly fought its way toward normalcy. "Um... just out of curiosity, which part, exactly, is the part I'm right about?"

For a long, intense moment, I drank her in. God, was she radiant; that dress was every bit as breathtaking as it had been when last she wore it, and her hair, while slightly disheveled from Roxie and Ophelia struggling her into the dress, still looked great considering (magic, perhaps?). Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were rouged, and the streaks running down them did nothing to detract from her beauty. It all made me wish I had been able to see her in this light back during the real Prom, to appreciate everything about her more. Honestly, if this day hadn't been coming for a long, long time, it would have happened in an instant right then and there... just from me taking a good look at her.

"Hello? Earth to Chessler Two, do you copy?"

"No." When her nose crinkled up, I realised that word probably didn't mean much independent of the thoughts behind it, so I elaborated. "No, I don't have the right to do this to you anymore. As much as I know I could, and it might even work, it's... I don't want things to happen that way. Damn, I... I've been so selfish."

"W-ell, I wouldn't go that far, I mean-"

"Oh, man, I can't believe I didn't notice that before - even while you were trying to tell me. Wow, I'm sorry, Sabrina - you were right all along. It's in my nature to control things, and here I am, doing it one more time. Well, this is the last time."

"W-what?!" Her eyes flew open. "No, Libby - no, don't try it again, I- your death isn't going to solve anyth-"

"I'm flying back to the city in the morning, you know," I said firmly, even as my eyes began welling up. No stopping to refute her assumption of suicide; a clean, quick break was in order. "You won't have to worry about seeing me again, because I- I'll make sure I keep as much distance between us as possible. Maybe we'll miss each other for a while, but at least I won't keep ruining your life by-" I almost couldn't finish, but I pressed on. "...by being in it."

"Libby..."

"I'll be going, now. Don't worry about all this stuff, I've got people to come by and wrap it up tomorrow." Woodenly, I picked up my handbag from the table and started walking away.

"You're doing it again."

I paused, halfway to the doors. "D-doing what?"

"Controlling everything." I turned to look at her, only to see her doing the same. "First you're trying to shoehorn me into a deeper relationship, and now you're taking it off the table completely? When are you gonna learn to let things percolate a minute or two?"

"Wh-what are you saying? Do you... you don't hate me?"

"When did I ever?" she snorted. "Well, I mean, other than for the first half of our relationship." A second ticked by as she laughed again. "Nah, even that's a fib. I never  _hated_ you, per se."

My eyes dropped to the floor as my head absorbed this positive shift. "But... but I was-"

"What are these?"

Blinking, I looked back up to see her gloved hand running over the four presents neatly arranged in the middle of the hors d'oeuvres. Shakily, suddenly very nervous because I had forgotten about them entirely, I said, "Nothing, really. Just some stupid junk."

"Like what?" she said, picking up the small gift bag from among the three boxes. "They... are for me, right? Or did you go on another of your self-indulgent sprees for old time's sake?"

"They're for you," I whispered. "But like I said, they're lame; you could maybe exchange them, though."

"Chanel No. 5?! Holy Moses, this must've set you back a pretty penny!"

"Nice going, Morgan," I muttered to myself with a smile.

"Libby," she chided playfully as she shook one of the larger boxes, "you're not trying to buy my affections again, are you? 'Cos if you are, it's  _almost_ working, but- but not..."

For a moment, neither of us said anything as she stared at the bottle; then, her eyes widened, squeezed shut, and opened again.

"Perfume. The science fair... oh, Libby." She laughed wetly, holding her hand to her mouth as she picked the tiny bottle back up and stared at it. "But I think this stuff might be slightly higher-quality than that dross we cooked up."

"Probably so," I chuckled, walking closer to the table.

"This is the sweetest- damn, listen to me!" Waving her hand at her eyes, she put the bottle down and grabbed the stripe-wrapped flat package. "What else did you get me?"

"Trust me, they won't be nearly as expensive," I blurted, wishing so,  _so_ much that she hadn't opened the perfume first. "To be frank, they're kind of-"

"A... a book. Magic School Bus?!" Her eyebrows only knitted further as she took a closer look at it. " _The Magic School Bus: Inside The Human Body_. Well, uh... at least maybe I'll learn something."

Nevermind some namby-pamby old misgivings; this was genuine, grade-A regret. Nausea set in. "Oh, I told you they were stupid! Let me take the other two back before-"

"No, tell me," she said patiently. "I mean, no sane adult goes out and gets some fourth-grade piece of posterboard with pages for no reason - and for all the sanity you lack, you're not  _that_ far gone. But you're gonna have to help me, 'cos I'm  _so_ not in the right headspace to get the deeper, here."

"Well... Jesus, this seemed like a less frivolous idea at the time!" Taking a few steadying breaths, I leaned against the table, knowing I was about to sound like a dumbass. "Thing is, you saved me from being run over by a large vehicle, and- and you did it with magic. Hence the Magic School Bus, and the saving of my, uh, human body - which you have steered an enchanted vehicle inside at least once." I started to say more, but the words died on my lips.

She stared at me for what seemed like an hour; I felt it rather than seeing it, because I was too ashamed to look at her. Then, I could suddenly hear her unwrapping another package, and I looked up in horror to see it was the worst of them all. Desperately, I made a last-ditch effort to dissuade her. "I am  _so_ not kidding, Sabrina, it might be better if you didn't-"

"This is Harry Potter." She held it up for me to see, as if I didn't know what it looked like. Funny aside, I barely did - I hadn't picked any up myself. Arianna was always reading them on break; it was the only reason I knew she wasn't totally illiterate. "Harry Potter, Libby?"

I totally could have died. As she said to me once before, the road to Hell...

"Is this some kind of gag?" she said. "I mean, you know, the magic they do in these books is like, a severely bogus representation of our craft. I mean, they still use brooms!"

"You stole my heart."

She stopped dead, still holding the book; after a few moments, she glanced back at the title again.

"Oh... 'Prisoner Of Azkaban'."

"So maybe my money would've been better spent on renting a Cyrano," I laughed harshly, inwardly beating my ass into next week for listening to Harvey's advice. "Glaringly obvious at this point. But seriously, corny as it may sound, the fact remains that I- I'm captive under your spell. Pathetic cubed, but true."

"Come on," she said; this was such a bad scene, but for some reason she didn't seem to mind. Blinking, she put the book down on the table next to the other presents. "Libby, I'm sorry. Maybe the books DO fall under the category of 'different', but they're sweet. I didn't mean to poke fun at them, honest. But hey, as long as we're going for broke..."

"Wait!" I blurted out ashamdedly as she went for the last package, my hand stretching out toward it like I was running after my grandmother in the dream I'd had the first night after her passing. "Why kick a good homecoming queen when she's down? Let's just-"

"A hot water bottle?"

Dead silence. When I didn't bother to explain again, her face scrunched up a little as she said, "Are you, uhh... trying to tell me something? Is the nozzle somewhere in the wrapping, or-"

"No!" I half-laughed; it was almost enough to cut through the shame and disappointment hanging in the air. "No, I didn't- it's not supposed to be hygenic so much as, um, symbolic."

"Oh. OH!" She gazed at it for a long moment, almost as if it had revealed itself to be made of solid platinum, then looked back up at me and laughed herself. "Pre-Christmas escapades. Duh!"

"You gave me one once, and it was definitely crucial then, so I figured... y'know."

"Yeah, I- yeah." As I watched, her eyes swept from it to the other presents, and I was amazed she didn't look at any of them with revulsion. "Gosh, that seems like decades ago."

"It's cheap," I agreed, too preoccupied with moping to take in what she was actualy saying. "They're all cheap, I- they're not good enough. I mean, of course they're not, not for you."

"Don't say that," she said quietly, clutching the rubber bag to her chest. "They're clever, and a clever gift is tons better than maxing out plastic in my opinion."

"Please don't patronise me," I said, suddenly two inches away from breaking down all over the room - but I held it together. God had the good grace to grant me that much. "I know they're silly, and childish. I only- I-"

"Shh, c'mon." She led me over to the chair and sat me down, her hand lingering on my shoulder. "Don't do this to yourself, they were-"

"I only wanted to show you just how much you've meant to me these past two years, and I messed that up, too. No wonder you're unreceptive - I wouldn't receive me in a receiving line!"

"Now stop that," she said sharply, waving the stupid, pointless bag under my face - that only made me feel worse. "They're the most touching gifts anyone's ever given me, and my aunts can conjure things from midair!"

"But are they enough? E-even if you weren't lying to spare my feelings, I know they wouldn't be enough! I'm sorry for putting you through this, Sabrina, and I don't- I don't deserve..."

And that's when it happened. Well, not exactly - it had been happening all along, little by little, ever since she infiltrated my world and rearranged my thinking. But this is the moment when the dam finally gave way.

"I'm yours to do with as you please," I said as I looked up at her, my will broken at last, giving myself over wholly. "Whatever you decide, it's up to you; take me for your own, hold me at arm's length, throw me away..."

Her voice cracked as she gaped at me openly, her chest heaving to feed her quickening heart. The hot water bottle bounced along the ground and settled behind one of the cardboard cutouts. "Libby!"

"There's not much left for me to say - and I won't say the words I want to, because I don't want to force your hand, or break you down; I want it to be what you truly want. Make your decision, and I'll be that for you: stranger, friend, or- or whatever. This cheerless heart is in your hands."

There. I had said my peace, and had nothing left in me but to stare at the floor, rubbing my bicep and trying not to betray another emotion.

"...you could have had me in the rain."

Startled, I looked up. "The... rain?"

"I knew what you were going to say." The tears running down her face were so heavy, so plentiful, I couldn't help but shed a few at the sight of hers. Her voice was so overwrought, so strained... "Any idiot with an IQ higher than an amoeba would have been able to tell. I asked you not to jerk me around, and what did you do? Jerked me around. Jerk."

"S-Sabrina, I- I didn't-"

"If only you had said it," she said, sniffling slightly through her would-be stony gaze into nothingness. "We were so close, and- and if you would have spit it out then, I w-would have fallen right into your trap, and we would never have gone through all the misery and suffering since that night. Easy, so easy. But no, not for us."

My heart didn't want to be put through this, but I had no choice; it seemed I was going to have to make it through this one last conversation before I could let it give out once and for all. "I- I'm sorry, I- I was scared, it-"

"Damn you, Libby," she whispered quietly. "Damn you for making it be me. For making it be me who tells you."

What?

Lip quivering from the effort it took to hold everything in, she pulled me to my feet, slipped her hands behind my ears and stared into my eyes.

"I'm keeping your heart."

"Oh-!" It was all I could say. That one short word was the best I could do, and I felt so foolish, but at the same time I couldn't bring myself to care; I was too busy soaring on butterfly wings.

"I am," she went on, her right thumb stroking my cheek as she cast all her misgivings aside. "Jerky parts and all. What the hell else am I supposed to do? I need your heart to always be next to mine, because... because I kinda sorta love you, Libby. God help me, I love you!"

My hand moved up her back to rest on the nape of her neck. "Sabrina, I- I love you, too! More than I know, even now, you just- you consume me!"

"Maybe later," she muttered with a wink; we both giggled nervously, not even daring to think about deeper things like that yet.

"Damn... Sabrina, do you know what you're getting yourself into? I can be so schitzo, and vindictive, and- are you sure you can tolerate being with some dumb cheerleader for the rest of your-"

Then her hands drew my head in, and I was lost in what was only our second kiss - in the exact same locale as our first, felicitously enough - though as far as I was concerned, this one was the first that counted. It was like cotton candy, and lemons, and cherries, and a glorious fruit salad of everything I've ever loved to death or secretly desired were poured into a mold and presented to me free of charge. My entire life and the long, painful journey fell away, and we were lifted above the clouds, and all those other things the romantics spout off about, except real, and concrete, and warm. Maybe it was her witchly forces at work, or maybe it was simply the natural kind of magic... but either way, I could never forget that sweet, sacred moment as long as I lived.

Eventually, she broke the kiss to speak, and as she did she looked back into my eyes with a shy smile, breathing heavily as her tears mixed with mine.

"Go team."

~*~  _END Chapter Twelve_


	13. A Little Chessler All The Time

"Shh! Quiet down, you guys!"

"Is she here? Are they, uh, together?"

"Looks like it - they're coming up the walkway, and- aww..."

"What?! What, 'aww', what does that mean?!"

"They're holding hands - it's so freakin'  _cute!_ "

"Blegh - I think I'm gonna hurl!"

"What a horrible thing to say, Morgan; I never pegged you for being a relic from the Dark Ages."

"Hey, Greenie-Weenie, there's nothing relic-ey  _about_ me! I'll have you know I pumice and mud masque every night before-"

"Shut  _up,_  you idiots - they're almost at the door!"

Smiling, I turned to Sabrina, and I could see a slight creasing of amusement between her eyes, too. "I wonder what they'd say if they knew we could hear them?"

"Probably a lot less," she whispered. "That's why it's good this spell is undetectable... but I'd better turn it off now." I could see her finger pointing behind her back (now that I knew to look for such red flags, they were ridiculously obvious) as she muttered a few words, and the urgent hisses and sound of people tripping over things disappeared from my head. "There. Okay, then... are we ready?"

"I- I dunno," I breathed shakily. "That is, I've been to a coming out party before, but this - this really IS a 'coming out' party! What do we say, how should we act? Would it be too much if-"

"Hey." Her eyes sparkled as she willed my heart to steady with a magic more natural than the kind she'd used as an eavesdropping device. "Chill. I mean, okay, we'll probably have to deal with a lot of grief and discomfort, but when you think about it... we'll come out the other side of it fine and dandy, right?"

"Are you sure? Some of them might say some really mean things; you heard Morgan!"

"I know," she said grumpily. "And I oughtta flay her for it, but... I might've said the same thing if it was her."

"Lucky for me, it's you," I said meekly. "Uh, that is..."

Already I could see the colour rising in her cheeks. "Stop it. I'd like to walk in there without looking like we just-"

And after that glance, we couldn't help but giggle again. We'd done a lot of that the night previous... and that morning after waking up, curled up on the floor of the Westbridge High gym. And because I know how dirty your minds are, a lot of things you're thinking right now did  _not_ happen, okay? Meanwhile... that's not to say  _none_ of them happened, either. Cryptic is a must for this situation, as far as I'm concerned.

"Ready?" she hissed.

"As I'll ever be."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Because detailing the entire party would take a stressful amount of words, we're summarising again. You should be used to it by now, so quit whining. Hmm... let's go person by person.

Roxie, somehow, had become our biggest proponent, and gushed and glowed about our overdue union twice as much as everybody else. Wasn't she sticking pins in a Cheerless doll a few days ago? Much worse than that, she was the proud owner of a digital camera that I came to despise almost instantly; all I wanted was the entire world finding out I was un-straight the day after I accepted it. Even so, how could we fault her? She had no reservations about what we'd grown into. It's refreshing to have a friend like that.

Adymm, of course,  _loved_ telling Sabrina how he always knew I had the hots for her in gory detail, which eventually caused my fruit punch to "slip" and wind up all over his head. Everybody was too busy laughing at the way his spikes began to droop to catch his quiet apology to me, and knowing my revenge was complete, I smiled and nodded.

Morgan... avoided talking to us. To be harshly unyielding in my assessment (you know my MO), she might be closeted herself, 'cos I could tell she was über uncomfortable. I never caught her sneering or anything so crass and insulting. Itching powder could have explained her behaviour; fidgety and weirded out to the max. Guess this was her first time dealing with something of this nature. Poor dumb thing.

Milnot, TQ and Miles reacted like most guys would, I suppose; they kept gawking at us. Either their imaginations were going into overdrive, or they  _really_ liked our dresses. How many of you think it's the second one? Probably a low number. Disgusting, but... eh, boys will be boys. Milnot continuously said things like "It's your thang," Miles said next to nothing on the topic, and TQ seemed to shift his gaze to his girlfriend an awful,  _awful_ lot. Perhaps he was starting to figure out what had happened several months ago.

Speaking of which... Ophelia. Even though I could see how happy she was for both of us, and that's not a casual statement at all... there was a moment I may have caught a tinge of jealousy in her eye. Don't take that as fact! With all the music, food, laughter and " _OmiGAWD I can't believe that of all people YOU TWO hooked up_ ", it's more than possible I misread her. All the same, we shared a very heated embrace once upon a train, and though I was scared shitless, I felt all of Ophelia trying to pour into me. Did her torch continue to smolder for the Absinthia frontwoman? I hope not. Excruciatingly.

Several hours and a ton and a half of weirdness later, Adymm, TQ, Ophelia and Milnot left to pack up their sparse belongings for their return to Manhattan. Under the circumstances, I decided not to book the same flight; there was a lot I had to deal with before slipping back into my old routine, the least of which was the question of Gran's property. Then there was Morgan and Ophelia's mixed feelings, and beyond that...

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll bring you back in just after they left, so you can get an idea of the new vistas awaiting the monstrosity that is Libbrina. Whee.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"Ooh, a Brothers Junk CD," I giggled, throwing it across the room to Roxie. "What else is in here?"

"Hmm. Yeah, I think I remember them - they had that one song about shaking something, how'd it go?"

"Would you get the hell out of my stuff?!" Sabrina snapped, cheeks reddening as she slammed the desk drawer shut. "Nobody said 'complete invasion of privacy' was part of this closetless package!"

My mouth curled into a coy smile. "I thought I was  _supposed_ to start inv-"

"Nevermind," she interrupted hastily. "That can only turn out badly, and I think I ought to head you off at the pass."

"Yes, please save all pillow talk for elsewhere," said Roxie with a slight shiver. "Love you guys, I do, but I can do without images."

"Mmm, images are good..."

"Libby!" they said in unison - and they had a point. When did I become a complete slutbag?

"Hey," said Miles as he poked his head in. "Phone for one Libby Chessler."

"Really?" I blinked, looking back at the two of them. Sabrina's face was the colour of strained beets, but she shrugged along with Roxie. "Who is it?"

"No idea. Sounded like an adult being of some sort."

"Hmm..." It took eight seconds to blow past him and cross the living room to the phone. "Hello?"

"Libby, honey, it's me."

I recognised the voice as my father's, but I couldn't let him get away with that. "Mr President? My, you flatter me, but I thought you were busy this weekend."

"Oho, it is to laugh. Listen, I'm taking a flight around two this afternoon, and before I drop money on it..."

"Nope," I said softly. "I'll follow you out there tomorrow."

"You sure? I mean... if you miss too many classes, y-"

"There's this gangly kid who takes detailed notes and sells copies for five bucks a pop," I snickered. "I've only needed to feed his PlayStation habit once before, and I can do it again without feeling too guilty."

He laughed. "Sounds like you're on top of this. Just wanted to find out your plans."

"Thanks, but... there's more to take care of here before I leave. I'll be fine."

"Okay. Well, then I'm going to wrap things up here at the house, then go over and have a talk with your mother at the hotel before I head ou-"

 _"What?!"_ I exploded. "You will do no such thing!"

A stunned silence. "Excuse me, but which of us is the dependent, here? Look, I realise it's probably not the wisest - or  _safest_ idea I've ever had, but there are things I think we need to get strai-"

"Don't, Daddy, please?" I whined. "What's the point in stirring up the bad blood? It's not as if she'll ever  _learn_ anything from it."

"That's beside the point, Libb. I don't want you worrying about this, okay? You've got enough grief to deal with."

Agonisingly, I forced myself to emit a sigh that alleviated no pressure. If he only knew... "Fine. Go stumble blindly through a mine field if you must."

"Thanks for your permission. Coming to see me off?"

"You know it. Bye, Daddy."

"Au revoir."

"Poser."

I replaced the receiver, finger at my chin. An opportunity had presented itself. Dare I take it? Maybe I should go in with backup; it held the same ominous feeling of putting a can of grape soda in a paint mixer for an hour, then opening it while wearing suede. But if I could take care of two birds with one heavy, sharp stone...

"What did your dad want?"

Two hands slipped around my waist. For a moment, I tensed, confused - was I going to have to slap somebody? But one moment later my slow brain figured out who was behind me, and perhaps the most concentrated feeling of contentment flooded through every inch of my body. Breath fell on the back of my neck and another heart was beating against me through two layers of cotton. Moreso than ever before in my life, yet more even than when I was with Adymm, I experienced a true sense of belonging.

"Nothing," I whispered, unwilling to voice how beautiful the feeling was, even though I thought she should be given dominion over a small country for causing me such joy. She must have known, anyway. I placed my own hands over her soft, delicate ones. "Hi."

"Hi," she cooed in my ear. I bit my lip to prevent my smile from growing to goofy proportions. "What's a nice goth-rocker like you doing in a place like this?"

"Dork," I half-laughed. "Being in all kinds of love, I think."

Her head came to rest on my shoulder, lips just touching my skin; goosebumps began to spread outward from the spot. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Break it up, you two," Morgan said sourly as she headed for the refrigerator. "Sheesh, you're in the middle of the living room; at least take it back thataway." One thumb jerked over her shoulder.

"Jealous much?" Sabrina laughed.

The redhead could have laid a brick at that notion. I gave her an eyeroll and a shake of my head. "Sorry, Your Morganness. We'll take our horrifying display of G-rated hugging away from young eyes."

"Do that," she said as she ripped open a Yoplait. "Seriously, I apologise for sounding like a fuddy duddy, but I just-  _ugh,_  why would you ever wanna bang someone the same gender? Two sets of matching equipment just sounds so, so... boring! Isn't variety the spice of life?"

"Eh," Sabrina said mildly. "Overrated."

"Trust me, Morgan, if there's anything having my neural pathways altered by GHB taught me, it's that 'different' doesn't  _always_ mean 'good'. You remember how fun  _that_ was, don't you?"

She winced. "I'm still having nightmares of you trying to take my top off, and thanks  _so_ much for providing them with fresh fuel."

And with that, she retreated to her room so Sabrina could raise both eyebrows at me. Stupid halfwit redhead.

~*~  _END Chapter Thirteen_


	14. Ramifreakations

"And why on Earth should I entertain a single word  _you_ have to say?"

Hesitating outside the door, I pressed my ear to it. They were fighting. Vivid flashbacks bombarded me, scenes in my head of lamps being thrown, of shouting, of crying - me crying, them crying. Mostly me. It burned like a salt-infused wound, and yet here they were again. The cycle repeats.

"Because I've been the one looking out for her this past year," he was yelling. "Where were you and Dr Reed Richards? Off sauntering around in your pagoda, whooping it up, free of your own flesh and blood!"

"It was  _her_ decision to stay in America! We would have loved for her to come and live with us, but she didn't want to, and that's-"

"Oh, put a sock in it, Linda! Do you really think she would voluntarily move in with the two addle-brained parental failures who shoved her into some cockamamie institution out of convenience - especially when it involved removing her from everything she's ever known?"

"Japan would have broadened her horizons, opened up a whole new world of possibilities! It's not as if she'd have starved, or wanted for anything, and maybe-"

_KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK._

There was a tiny sigh behind me. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"What, you wanted to hear  _more_ of that disgusting display of animosity?"

"But they don't sound like they're in the best of moods... seems to me like a pretty awful time to-"

The door opened.

"Libby! Wh-what are you doing here, and- and you brought friends!"

The eight of us walked in through the door; me, Sabrina, Roxie, Adymm, Ophelia, T.Q., Milnot, and - yes, even Morgan. Not everyone was at ease, but they were behind me, and that stoked the fires enough to help me actually go through with my half-assed scheme.

"Mother," I said softly. When I'd gone far enough inside, I followed up with, "Father."

"Couldn't leave it alone, could you?" His voice was an urgent undertone. "I told you this wasn't something you should be-"

"I know, Dad. And I heard enough outside the door to tell me my assumptions were dead on. But-"

"What is this?" Mother butted in. "There's so many- you all look so serious! Libby, what's going on, why is-"

"Can you stop? Are you  _ever_ going to stop and let me talk, or am I going to get kitchenware thrown at my head if I try?"

Her eyes darkened. "That's not funny."

"Never was." Vaguely, I noticed several of my friends were genuinely surprised by this revelation, but I couldn't stop to elaborate or reassure. "Anyway, you took care of that situation, and I don't think there's any point in going back to pick it apart now."

"Libby," she began, then hesitated. What was she going to start with? Then, she threw up her hands. "Nope. Honestly, I'm really not sure what questions to ask you anymore."

My ire was rising. I had to cut this off fast, before I started shouting; there were more important matters. "Start with, 'What do  _you_  want out of life?' Might be a nice change of pace from ordering me around and shutting me out."

It worked; her lips were hanging open, as if I'd slapped her in the face. I could tell she'd almost found her voice again when I said, "But my friends didn't follow me here to talk about the past. Current events is the topic."

"What's going on, Libb?" my father put in, even less likely to put up with my mother's bullshit than me and eager to focus on something worthwhile. "You're... you're not dropping out of Columbia, are you?"

"I'm-  _WHAT?!_  No way! What are you, high?!"

"That's it, then, isn't it?" my mother sighed. "Oh, I remember the last intervention I went to: Phyllis, from the country club. Those Cosmos started catching up to-"

"No, it's not drugs," I said through gritted teeth. " _Or_ alcohol,  _or_ smoking,  _or_ internet gambling, to cover all the bases. Can't I get just a  _little_ credit, here?"

"Then what's this all about, honey?" My father cast an extremely sharp look at Adymm, then said, "Wait... no, you're way,  _way_ too young. You'd better not-"

"Oh my  _God!"_ I laughed harshly, blushing. It's so,  _so_ unfortunate he'd brought up a possibility that made me blush, because the hue would stick with me for the remainder of this visit, and that only made things more difficult. "No, I-  _ew!_  Daddy, like I'd ever  _think_ about it without being on the pill - or having at least  _one-_ "

"Okay, okay, I believe you!" I think talking about this sort of thing with his daughter was making him squeamish, and he was wiping his glasses on his shirt to give him an excuse to look away. "Then what's this all about?!"

I cleared my throat, glancing around at Adymm, then back at Sabrina. She was doing her best to look insignificant and small, which only made me want to put her in the spotlight and draw attention to how beautiful and crucial she was to me. "Well..."

"Don't stall," said Ophelia in my ear. Her voice was so soft, so strained - why? Pure empathy, or... "Trust me, that won't help at all. Make the incision swift and precise so the healing can begin."

"You and your cracked metaphors," I grunted, rubbing the hell out of my arm already.

"Stop that," my mother snapped. "Do you have something to say  _to us,_  or not?"

"I do." My eyelid twitched, and I found myself suddenly losing all desire to make this gentle for either of the bickering brats. "Thing of it is, you should probably be made aware of something, and I thought as long as both of you were together in one spot, it would save me a little time and annoyance. Too bad this is still taking way too long, and I'm annoyed enough to bring about World War 4."

"You're being melodramatic," my mother countered. She was making me angrier and angrier, and this wasn't the way I wanted this to go. But what choice did I have? Linda McSocialite-Evilpants was involved. "Always have been, so why should now be an exception?"

"You mean like when you  _threw me out of the house?!_  Did I overreact then?!"

"Um," Sabrina whispered in my ear, but I waved her away; I knew it was a spell of hers, but even without the intervention of paranormality, my stepfather and his arm candy were capable of it.

Then, on second thought, my hand changed directions and ended up clutching hers. I needed support, good support. I felt her squeeze my hand, and it helped.

"You are going to have to stop blaming others for the paths you have chosen," she was ranting. "Your aberrant behaviour led us to place you with that boarding school, and from what I can see, you haven't stopped careening through life half-cocked, playing by your own rules and refusing to understand that there are  _consequences!"_

"Linda, I wouldn't talk about consequences if I were you," my father put in. "Seeing as it's you trying to reconnect with your estranged flesh-and-blood."

"Both of you,  _shut up!"_ I shouted.

"David, you didn't see her on that train," she volleyed. Shit - did we  _have_ to go there? But I'd known in the back of my head that someday this would resurface, and it was too late to slow her momentum. "Her and that green-haired girl, they were- were-"

"Were  _WHAT?!"_ TQ suddenly blurted, gaping at us. Ophelia had a mortified look creeping over her, but I was way too pissed to react to TQ's accusing glare. Roxie and Adymm took a step back so no one would notice they weren't at all surprised. Then I felt Sabrina's hand leave mine - that was the only part I registered clearly. I couldn't bring myself to look; waves of pain were coming off her, palpable and cold, and I promised myself she'd get the full story... when I had a moment.

"You think you've got everything sewn up, don't you, Mother?" I was seething. "'Oh, Libby's a screwup, she's crazy and unpleasant, and  _then_ look at what she does, and blah blah blah!' Yeah, well, you know what? While you've been living far away in your lotus garden of happiness, I've been drowning in an adult life I wasn't ready for, so I think you oughtta stop judging and start growing a clue!"

_"Liberty Gabrielle Chessler, I will NOT have you speaking to me this way!"_

The room went dead quiet, and it was tangible. My face became as red as it possibly could, and just for a split second, the wind left my sails entirely - I was four years old and standing over a broken aquarium, staring at the fish as they gasped for water that was quickly absorbing into the carpet, knowing full well that it wasn't my fault the shelf had given way while I was pressing my nose to the glass. Now, I had tiny cuts all over my arms and legs, beloved pets were dying around my feet, and Mommy only cared that I had created more work for her and destroyed an object that had been paid for with her money.

"So wait," Adymm breathed. "'Libby Gabby'? Seriously?"

 _"YOU SHUT UP!"_ I screamed at him, brought back to reality with an ungainly  _THUMP!_  "That was  _never_ supposed to become public knowledge! If anybody in this room ever so much as writes it  _down,_  nevermind-"

"Sure, sure," said Roxie, her hand covering her mouth. Was she laughing at my pain? "Wouldn't dream of spreading this around to your fans."

"You and... and Libby?" TQ was struggling through in the meantime, too pissed and distraught to take in the cursed alliterative horror that is my double-nickname. "What- but why, and when- that's not-"

"Baby, calm down," she whispered. "It's old news, okay? Way,  _way_ old news, and not important right n-"

"Oh, it's important," said Sabrina quietly, and at last, I turned to face the betrayal and uncertainty in her eyes. For the most agonising three seconds of my life, she gazed at me evenly, as if not sure what she wanted to say, or if she even wanted to speak at all. "But... but I trust you, Libby."

"Don't say it like you don't, then," I hissed, trying to let my anger abate when I spoke to her. My heart was trying to work up toward my throat, even while panic was creeping in at the corners of my mind. "I- you thinking any less of me, I d-don't w-"

"What a spectacle it was," my mother said shakily, swallowing. Evidently, my friends' reactions to learning my ( _atrocious_ ) middle name had distracted her for a few wondrous moments, but now she was back like a bad rash. "That's my daughter, though; always has to be the center of attention. I couldn't believe it, with everybody in the subway watching the two of them, groping at each other like, like-  _urgh,_  I've never been so disgusted in my  _life!"_

"I know," I said coldly. "I watched you vomit."

Most were stunned; even those who were already aware. As everybody's minds absorbed the gravity of all this, I turned to Sabrina and whispered, "Ophelia thought- I don't know what she thought, but- she thought I was-"

"I trust you," she repeated sadly. "I... and this was how long ago?"

"Months," I semi-lied - I was actually too distressed to remember. "It's not my fault, okay? Actually, it was a complete accident, so I- I don't want you to blame Ophelia for-"

"Why not?" Ophelia laughed bitterly. "You seemed to do enough of that for both of us, even without my perpetual regret."

Stunned, I rounded on her. "What?! No, I- no, I don't blame you for it at all, and you know that! The train went over a-"

"You never wanted it to happen at all, so you really  _are_ in the clear. I'm not." Her teeth dug into her bottom lip for a moment before she demanded, "You didn't feel  _anything?_ Not even a spark? 'Cause for a minute, I thought I did, but maybe I'm just that deluded, and we always talk about it like it was some huge mistake, b-but- but I was-"

"Don't go there, Ophie," I warned. "You know I'd rather poke a sleeping grizzly bear than hurt your feelings, but I felt  _no_ spark! None, not- well, I mean, other than the fact that I don't hate you, and that you were so passionate, and-" I had to take a moment to swallow; this was difficult to phrase without sounding like I enjoyed it. "And you definitely know how to make a girl feel-"

"Friggin' hell, doesn't anybody care what  _I_ feel?!" TQ burst out. "Were you just gonna throw me away when you and the Cheerless One got serious? Don't I feel special, now!"

As a shameful Ophelia carefully reassured her significant other, I turned back to mine; Adymm and Roxie were discussing something in an undertone, and my parents were firing deadly barbs back and forth, so it should have been easy to hold a semi-private conversation among the din.

"Yeah, I really wanted to get in the middle of  _that,_ " I whispered.

"Guess I can see how that would not be the cleverest plan," Sabrina replied, though her would-be reassured expression continued to come off as weak and worried. "I guess I- I'm... are you absolutely sure  _she's_ not the-"

"Very," I said with an embarrassed grin. "She's a great friend to have. The respective status of all my relationships are right where I want them, okay?"

After a long, contemplative moment, Sabrina's smile became less unsure. "Hey, how could I argue with that?"

But I think we must have sighed a teensy bit  _too_ happily.

"Wait," my mother flung out. Her gaze was moving between the two of us, eyes slowly widening yet more. "Is  _this_ what all this is about? Lord Almighty, you have  _got_ to be kidding!"

"What in God's name do you mean?" her ex-husband followed up with. "All  _what's_ about? Linda, don't act as if you automatically underst-"

"Yes," I said, firm and clear. I wasn't angry, and only the tiniest shred defiant. All other discourse died away as I gained the attention I needed to finally do what I'd gone there for. Full of the rich, warm cordial of my girlfriend's unshaken trust to bursting, I grabbed her hand between both of mine, watching her throat work to swallow a lump of terror and nerves. My words held a much deeper meaning than when either of my parents said them.

"This really  _is_ what it's all about."

~*~  _END Chapter Fourteen_


	15. Whenever You're Cheer Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHEEZ, this is such a long chapter! No good stopping point, though, and dividing it up into two chapters would make them abysmally short.

"Crap on a crap cracker, I am so, so,  _sooo_ sorry!"

"For what?" Ophelia replied, shrugging as her hand continued to hold Roxie's car door half-open. "Maybe this hasn't been the grandest day of our times, but it's not like-"

"I didn't want our little...  _tryst_ to be revealed in that manner," I said dejectedly. "Especially not with my mother's positive spin on it."

"Not your fault. I mean, they had to find out sooner or later, and... and I guess it's best we took care of everybody in one traumatic moment." Her lips pursed for a moment before she said, "I'm sorry, too - for putting you on the spot in front of Sabrina. That was horrible of me, I- it just slipped out, I couldn't stop myself!"

I half-smiled. "Don't beat yourself up over it. Bad timing seems to be a theme with today- or my whole life. But..."

Her eyebrows arched, and the barbell through her nose caught the noonday sun. "What?"

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" I hurried ahead. "Ophie, I love you like a sister, and it'd kill me if-"

"Stop worrying," she sighed with a weary grin. "Residual mixed-up feelings. Or... okay, do you want blunt honesty?"

"Against my better judgment... yes?"

"Okay." She stepped away from the car door. As she debated her words carefully, I noticed Adymm and Roxie were chatting several feet away, and I felt a twinge - but why? Was I having my own residual aches over Koriander, or did I care because I cared about both of them as my very close friends? Weirdness, thy name is Libby.

"Libby?"

"What?"

Hesitation. "Nothing - you seemed really far away."

"I was," I admitted. "But go on."

"You are  _extremely_ attractive," she began with, which I did not appreciate. In fact, I took another quick glance around to make sure nobody was watching or listening. "If I were to scale you, you'd be in the twelve range. And that's on top of how much deeper, and more compassionate, and- and worldly you've become in the past couple years."

"Is that so?" I said, trying not to reflexively giggle while overcompensating for my acute discomfort (and thereby expose it). "How would you have described me  _before,_  then?"

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "A black-hearted, narrow-minded ice queen... but beautiful, regardless. Libby, I... well, it's like Willow and Xander, right? I need to be more chill and realise-"

"Oh, you did  _not_ just use a Buffy-related analogy in this situation!"

"Right... geek spasm," she said to herself, then looked back up at me. "All I'm saying is, I can have a bosom companion who's smoking hot and super fun to hang around with, and it might make me  _think_ I've got gooshy feelings for a minute, but that's all in my silly head. Good friends don't always end up as lovers."

"Yyyeah," I said slowly. "In fact, they usually don't."

"Yup." Her shoe scuffed at the black top, and her bottom lip was moving from side to side, bunching up either pale cheek alternately. Secretly, I wasn't sure  _she_ believed what she was saying, but it did make sense. "And then there's Thad, and he's- well, a royal mess, but I do love him. We were broken up when- uh, the subway, but I can't help but feel guilty over it. So... when the residuals bleed out, we'll all be back to normal, I think."

"Thank you," I breathed extra-heavily. "I'd welcome a dose of 'copacetic' for once in my existence."

"I j-just need you to understand one thing," she began nervously, staring me straight in the eyes. "If there was ever anybody that could steal me away from him... it... Goddess, it's a pain in the ass, but I need you to watch out for that a little bit, okay?"

"You mean, try not to subconsciously woo you with my feminine charms?" I snickered. "I'll do my best."

"Don't laugh," she said quietly.

"I'm not laughing at  _you,_ " I reassured her, clamping my hand down on her shoulder so hard she couldn't  _not_ feel it. "Well, I guess I'm laughing at  _me,_  but... but don't worry about either of us messing things up. You're worth too much to me, and I will most certainly be making sure all our checks balance."

For my trouble, I got a long, watery gaze that sort of broke my heart and fixed it at the same time. "Thanks," she whispered, then cleared her throat and spoke in something closer to her usual tones. "Now, maybe I should go talk to TQ before he melts down and starts beating up strangers... or worse yet, sees  _us_ talking."

"Hmm... I'll bet I'm not his favourite person right now."

She laughed, and then I knew for sure that things would be right again. "On the lower half of the totem pole, I'm sure. I'll work on him for you."

"Every band needs a bassist, and a disgruntled bassist never bodes well."

"You really  _do_ need to get on that," Adymm said as he and Roxie neared the car. My muscles tensed; why? Then again, all my relationships had shifted or changed entirely in the past few days. When could I relax? "Jesus, I've never seen him look so much like a lost puppy."

"Thanks," Ophelia moaned. "That's what I needed to hear."

"So it  _is_ true, huh?" Roxie was saying, looking between the two of us with the sort of fascination you might give the hippopotami at the zoo. "I didn't wanna say anything in front of Mom and Pop, but... but you guys really  _did-_ "

"Could you not?" I said quickly. "Reliving is unwise."

"Ophelia, you dog," Adymm chided. "Trying to steal my woman right out from under me. You got brass ones!"

"I don't have  _any_ ones," she mumbled, very obviously confused by this good-natured reaction. "You're not mad?"

"Nah," he breathed. "Well, maybe if I found out  _before_ Sabrina's letter surfaced, but they happened around the same time - there was no time to confront you over one lip-lock when I could tell Libbs had bigger problems."

"Who are you, Mr Wizard?" I said. "You don't know  _everything._  And you have some serious crow to eat from trying to break up with me on what was already the worst day of my-"

"Speaking of chowing on crow..."

Sabrina frowned as she came to a stop. Where had she been? Talking to Morgan, it looked like; the vibrant auburn locks were disappearing through a car door several dozen feet away. Her hands were in the back pockets of her jeans, and she wasn't looking directly at anyone. After a few seconds, Roxie said, "Um... what, did you want to pick one up on the way home?"

"Got enough stuck in my teeth to last a week," she said glumly. "I, uh... yeah. Ophelia, I owe you an apology in a humongous way."

"What?" Ophelia replied numbly, glancing at me briefly. Wow, did she look shocked - I probably did, too! "You... what?"

"I mean, we- I kept giving you grief over stuff that's none of my business, and- well, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve any of tha-"

It was Sabrina's turn to blink rapidly when two thin arms began squeezing the pudding out of her. A minute or two passed as they embraced, and right about the time Sabrina tried to find her voice, Ophelia whispered something in her ear that halted her from continuing. When they broke apart, two sets of eyes were being wiped clear of unnecessary moisture.

"S-see you guys back at the college house," Ophelia mumbled as she climbed into Roxie's back seat. Roxie and Adymm tried to get more out of us with piercing, inquisitive stares, but when Sabrina and I merely shrugged, they climbed inside as well.

"What did she say to you?" I asked as we headed to the Saturn.

"N-nothing," Sabrina lied. "Not important."

"Out with it, you," I demanded, bumping into her shoulder with my own. She laughed weakly.

"Fine. She said... she- if I hurt you, she'll 'fucking murder' me. Her precise phraseology."

Pursing my lips, I nodded as I opened the passenger door. "Sounds like Ophie-Dokies. Take it as a compliment."

"A death threat is a compliment?"

"It means she approves, even if the trust isn't quite there yet." As Sabrina plopped down behind the wheel, I stared down at my knees and sighed. "I... didn't want you to find out about it like this. Gah, I figured days,  _weeks_ from now, we could dip into horrible details like-"

"What's done is done, Libby. You and me are stronger than a smooch on the subway."

My eyes darted up. "We are?" But my heart was thundering so loud, and all because her hand was at my cheek. Her palms are so soft, so calming, and yet... "We are."

"You bet your sweet patootie we are," she said with a smile as she started the car, eyes never leaving mine. "And you do have one sweet patootie."

I twitched bashfully. _"Breeny!"_

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Roxie slept on the living room floor that night, next to where Ophelia was staking out the couch. Hey, she volunteered; I was more than glad to let her, though, and I gave her so much undying gratitude that her cheeks started growing pink (or rose-ish, since her skin is so deeply olive). Cool though she may be with the  _idea_ of girls who like girls, I think having one hug you and kiss your cheeks repeatedly amid a flurry of "thank yous" is beyond her tolerance levels just yet. She was a good sport, though; in fact, Milnot took this hilarious picture of me jumping into her lap, snapped just in time to get me grinning like a Cheshire cat... and Roxie's eyes wide as dinner plates.

We have reached a difficult part of these memoirs. In the interest of total disclosure, of giving you everything my heart can hold, I'm going to let you see as much as I can handle the world knowing about. Don't complain when you reach the end - just be glad I didn't have another fit of dire embarrassment and delete this part.

My stomach was doing a Can-Can and I was hoping my sweat glands would decide to obey me as I returned from the bathroom and laid my hand on the doorknob. Was I ready for this? I mean, as intimate and loving and beautiful as our first night together in the old high school gym had been, we were fully clothed in huge, frilly dresses, laying on hardwood floors and mostly chattering away about how long it took us to get over ourselves. Now, I was going to be alone, in a bed, with the woman ( _WOMAN?!_ ) I loved more than my own life - no lights, no clothes, no interruptions. Well, I  _was_ wearing a camisole and boys' boxers, but if the mood moved us...

One more deep breath. I entered.

"Hey!" Sabrina barked when she saw me. "No cheerleaders allowed!"

"Freak," I snapped, folding my arms as my bottom bumped the door closed. "You  _will_ make an exception, or else."

Her eyebrow raised. She was already in bed; a lump formed, trying to cut off my speech. "Or else what?"

"Or else I'll have to leave."

"Good point." She flashed a cunning little grin. "Get over here, then."

As I lifted the covers gently and slid under them, a hundred thoughts started taunting me at once. What would this feel like? I'd never even gone this far with Adymm, so I had no thoughts to compare this to. What went where? Sex education never covered the mechanics of lesbianism!

Arms snaked over my scarcely-covered flesh. "Welcome to my parlour..."

"You are definitely the spider, here," I whispered irritably. What was that touching my leg? Her leg? My beleaguered brain wasn't ready! "Um, so, um, hi."

"Hey," she whispered directly into my ear.  _Oooh,_  that drove me up the  _wall!_  I could feel my body reacting (overreacting?), and my tongue flitted along my lips to distract my brain from the naughtier nerve endings. "Would you like to play a game?"

"N-no, but I don't suppose I have a choice."

"It's called, 'Guess What Sabrina Wants To Do To Libby'."

I didn't like where this was going. Or I did, but I didn't want to admit it, and I was also in the middle of losing my sanity! "O- okay, how do you play?"

"Very simple. You guess what I'm thinking about doing to you right now. If you answer wrong... I get to do it."

I smiled probably the most embarrassed smile in human history. "And if I g-get it right?"

"You get to choose," she said simply, index finger tracing lightly along my jawline. My eyes, trying to help my brain stay cool and in control, focused on the tiny wrinkles on her knuckles; some went further to one side, some to the other. "You could let me do it, or do something else to me."

"Sabrina..."

"Oh, fine," she laughed. "Not ready for that kind of stuff, I know."

"And you are?!" I demanded. When she didn't answer, I frowned. "You are, though, right? Otherwise, I might have to punch you in the-"

"I'm not, either," she conceded, laying back and staring at the ceiling. Only now could I see her chest rising and falling much faster than was normal - but then I realised I was leering at her chest, and moved my gaze upward. The sparse moonlight caught in her blue eyes, and I found myself wanting to stare into them forever... "Or I would be, b-but we don't have any time to let it happen naturally, and the whole shebang feels so freaking...  _forced!_  Am I right?"

I nodded. "You are. I mean, it makes this feel so important and urgent, and yet if we do it and it's weird and awkward, we'll feel like we screwed it up."

"Start slow," she whispered. "Touch me."

 _"That's_ not slow!"

"Not  _touch_ me, touch me," she said through gritted teeth, twitching as if I'd shouted her secret across a football stadium. "Just... don't stay way over there like you're scared of me. It's not like we haven't done this before, y'know?"

"Yeah, yeah." My hand started creeping across the fitted sheet to her side. "Speaking of which... what were you thinking?"

"Huh?"

"When you were curing me of the frozenness." Inches away; the conversation was helping distract me from the fight-or-flight response that was trying to trick me into doing something drastic. "What went through your head as you, y'know... stripped naked and rubbed your body heat into me?"

Hush fell over the room for a moment as she contemplated and I advanced on her. "A lot of things. Mostly that I was scared, and I didn't want you to- to- well, yeah, that would suck. But then..."

"Then?"

"Then I felt your body against mine." I had to still my own anxious breathing to catch her quiet words. "I made myself tune out all those thoughts, they were so wrong, so insane - but I knew I liked it the moment I touched you. Even though you were a Libbysickle."

"I  _was_ a Libbysickle," I giggled. "So... even then, you knew y-"

"Don't go  _that_ far. I mean, I knew it really,  _really_ weirded me out, because a tiny part of me decided it felt good, but other than that, I was as clueless as present company up until... hmm."

"Until?"

"Yeah..." She smiled more to herself, now. "That les-bug of yours probably started creeping up on me when you kissed me at the rave, but... but I absolutely knew for certain I had it bad when you chased me down in the rain. Everything you were saying mattered more to me than anything I'd been doing in my quote-unquote 'regular life', and it was love. Even if neither of us could call it that at the time."

My smile mirrored hers until I coughed and plunged ahead, hand continuing its onward march again. "I- I guess I just wanted to know, since I don't remember any of it. I wish I did."

"We can recreate it right now," she said sympathetically. "I mean, I wish you could remember it like I do, I always felt kinda rotten that you lost such huge gaps of-  _ooh..._ "

I'd reached her stomach; it was bare. God in Heaven, what a tingle ran down my arm! Did all other witches have that kind of electricity, or just  _my_ witch? As my hand moved upward, the queasiness came back - a part of me screamed out that I wanted to feel a flat chest, a man's chest. Though they weren't bulging, Adymm had such fine, toned pectorals. Then, a brief moment later, Sabrina sucked in her breath.

"Libby..."

It felt wonderful.  _they_ felt wonderful - despite all Morgan's assertions that me having my own set would mean fields of boredom, she was so very, very wrong. Even if they hadn't be soft and deliciously pliable, the look of surprised ecstasy on my love's face would have been plenty.

And  _that_ was through a bra.

"Do you... d'you want me to take it off?" she managed heavily.

"No, it's okay," I said in a rush, pressing my body right up against hers and holding on for dear life. Nothing had ever been warmer, made me feel like I'd found a niche in the world where I actually fit. "No, I, no- don't move. Don't move from right here."

An arm was moving up my back, and when I felt small, sharp pains along one of my shoulderblades, I knew she didn't want me to move, either.

  
~*~  _END Chapter Fifteen_


	16. Freaking On A Jet Plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the beginning of a really long, drawn-out airport scene. I do apologise, but there were many things to tie up, and this was as neatly as I could manage. STOP THROWING OVERRIPE FRUIT

Roxie, Miles, and Morgan bid the rest of us goodbye at the college house that morning; they all had early Monday classes. Sabrina did, as well, but she told me privately that she'd conjured a tape recorder to appear in a shadowy corner.

"You can do that?" I hissed.

"Easy peasy," she laughed quietly. "Well, it won't be  _that_ easy listening to Dr Finkbotham's lecture, but at least I hope not to fail?"

"Okay, I'm off," Roxie called over her shoulder, the last one to leave. Her hair was hanging in odd, haphazard angles, and I saw a Pop Tart sticking out of her backpack. "You guys... you'll be okay getting to the airport?"

"Yeah," said Ophelia, dragging her duffel out of the linen closet it had ended up living in. "It's landing I'm worried about."

"Problem with planes?" asked Sabrina.

"It's so unnatural, right? If mankind were meant to fly, Goddess would have provided."

Roxie smiled wryly. "But we were granted the mental capacity to create the aircraft." But Ophelia was not so easily shaken.

"We were also granted the mental capacity to write and film more than one  _3 Ninjas_  movie. Just because you  _can_ do something doesn't-"

"Okay, okay, point to you." Roxie snickered before turning her attention back to the matter at hand. "Sabrina, you gonna be okay to drive home?"

"I'll not be swilling down vodka in the terminal," she protested.

"Everything's fine, Roxie," I said. "Go, learn."

"Learning." With one last glance back, she smiled like a kid in a Kodak commercial and said, "You guys..." And then she was off.

"You'd think she was getting extra credit for hooking us up," Sabrina muttered.

"She could be secretly filming a documentary," Ophelia offered. "Something along the lines of, 'When Roommates Munch Rugs'..."

"That's vulgar," I said. "Also, I have yet to munch a single rug."

Ophelia and Sabrina were both stunned into silence by the suddenness of that announcement. Finally, when I dropped my gaze to the floor, Ophelia uttered an innocent little, "You don't say?"

"Our greenish friend has a point," Sabrina said through gritted teeth. "Why would you  _say_ that? Why would she need to know? Do you-"

"Oh, leave me alone!" I laughed at their outbursts. "It  _is_ the truth, isn't it?"

"The truth can be, uh... disquieting," Ophie said, staring off into space.

"Sorry, sorry," I said genuinely, still fighting the urge to laugh. "C'mon, let's just get out of here before we miss our flight and create more chaos and disorder."

But as the three of us shuffled out the door, I took one last look back. Though I'd only seen the inside of it for perhaps a total of five or six days, it felt like a home away from home. Maybe it was the collegiate bohemia... or maybe it was that so much of Sabrina was there that I loved it like I loved her. Maybe watching  _Home Alone_ in the middle of the night, pushing the recommended capacity of the couch, was enough to bond you to a place for life. Whatever. I was going to miss it... almost as much as I'd miss the people who lived there.

Before I could break down for what would have appeared to be no reason at all, I was startled by Sabrina saying, "Hey, what's-"

"I'm sorry!" sobbed a overwrought, moist-faced Morgan, whose arms were flung around both myself and Sabrina a second later. "Almighty Nick Lachey's Abs, I've been a harpy, and y-you, I-"

"Whoa, whoa," I gasped, "slow down! What the hell's wrong with-"

"My poor little gaylets," she blubbered. "I've been  _way_ unsupportive, too busy being grossed out to help you get through all this! Can you ever- can I- there's-"

"Morgan, calm down!" Sabrina laughed, patting her on the back as best she could when her arms were pinned to her sides. "It's okay, we-"

"It's not, though!" With a great heave, she pushed us away to arm's length, bottle-tanned face more determined than I'd ever seen it. "God, I ought to be giving a pair of my Dee and Gees to you two to make up for- or, I mean, well, not that I have any I could part with, but I- if I did, I would, at the drop of-"

"Don't worry about it, Morgan." Though she hadn't changed that much yet, at least she  _was_ evolving. "It's the thought that counts."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"Ugh - a window seat."

Sabrina and I smiled. "Sorry, Ophie," I said, hefting my carry-on. "What seat number?"

Her turquoise locks seemed to wilt as she checked again. "Twenty-six A."

"Oh, look at that," I said brightly. "Twenty-six B."

"Yeah," she said with a wry grin, snatching mine from my hand. "I appreciate this."

My lips pursed as I took hers in trade; she hadn't technically asked, but she knew she didn't have to. That doesn't mean I wouldn't have appreciated the gesture. "What are friends for?"

"Well, I... I'm going to go get situated," she said hesitantly. "You, uh... you'll follow me into the terminal soon?"

I nodded. We all glanced between ourselves. Was it me, or had things grown even weirder with Ophie since we 'figured it out'? She was staring at her tiger-striped hi-tops; Sabrina was staring at them, too, but I think it's more likely she was wondering what Salvation Army Thrift she'd found them in. Then, Ophie said, "What the hell," braced her hands against Sabrina's shoulders, and planted a gentle one on her lips.

In spite of myself - and  _GOD,_  was this annoying to deal with in the middle of a crowded airport - a whirlwind of emotions kicked up into existence. What was she doing?  _Nobody_ was supposed to kiss Sabrina, now - she was off-limits! Could Ophelia have feelings for yet another girl -  _my_ girl? How  _dare_ she! And how sick and twisted was it that despite the crawling of my skin, watching them touch like that caused my face to start feeling the tiniest bit warmer? Scenes, dark possibilities flashed through my imagination, and new, worse thoughts replaced the ones I hurriedly dismissed. God, I should be shot! My only saving grace is that the onion bagel I'd eaten scant minutes ago churned angrily; no, I  _didn't_ like this... even if it was easy on the eyes.

Then Sabrina was panting, "Wow... that's, uh, a woman-kiss."

"Jesus Christ!" I growled. "Does  _every girl in the United States_ have to give it a whirl?! Are our sappheromones  _that_ pungent?!"

"Sorry," Ophelia half-laughed, deliberately avoiding my death-glare. "I... yeah. Maybe I had to do that, or... or maybe it was just another stupid thing I've done for no reason other than me being certifiable."

Sabrina cleared her throat. "In the interest of fairness, might I remind you-"

"Wanted to see what you were missing?" I demanded, looking away as she glanced at me automatically.

But it was Ophelia who answered. "Maybe. Too many 'maybe's. Maybe I should shut up and get on the plane before I blow something up or go ninja on an innocent bystander."

"There's no such thing as spontaneous ninja-ing," Sabrina laughed - and her laugh was too high. One of her "tells" I had memorised by now. "But... hey, I'm not gonna die from one Ophelia peck, I'm sure."

"Yeah, probably not. I'm not wearing poisonous lipstick today - at least, I don't think so."

One of Sabrina's eyebrows arched, but I just smiled. I'd heard her use that once before on TQ; he'd flipped out and ran to the bathroom before she could tell him she was only kidding. After a moment, Sabrina saw me smirking and snorted. "Oh, right - make with the inside jokes and leave me in the dark. I appreciate that."

As we all laughed, Ophelia pulled her into a more conventional hug and said, "Merry part, Sabrina, and take care of yourself; Libby needs that, which means I do, too. Don't you forget."

The din of several hundred people seemed to press in on us once Sabrina and I were alone in the terminal. One of life's lamest, most uselessly complicated moments had finally crept up and bit us; the airport goodbye. I adjusted the thin denim jacket I had on, making sure my ticket was in the pocket. Sabrina wiped just under her bottom lip, as if making sure Ophelia hadn't smudged her own lipstick (she hadn't). I checked my watch more as an excuse to perform an action than to see what time it was. She moved her purse from beneath one arm to the other. I almost completed a deep, burdened sigh when she interrupted me.

"Do you have to go?"

My lip instantly tried to tremble, but I told it to steady. This didn't  _have_ to be disgusting and sloppy. "Kinda. School."

"School sucks."

"Duh, Spellman."

"Can't you move back home?" she pleaded, tucking a string of blonde behind her ear. "Miles should probably find a dorm with other guys, anyway, and then Roxie could have his room and-"

"Too late in the year to transfer my credits. Besides, I... not that it holds a candle to true love or anything, but I like Columbia. I think I'd like to try to get a bachelor's in something if I can... unless the record deal takes me on the road, and then I guess I'd have to postpone my education until that's all-"

"But we're-" She struggled with it, and I would have, too, if I'd been the first to say it. When the word finally came out, it was so quiet I'd have missed it completely if I didn't already know what she was going to say. "We're  _lesbians,_  right? Aren't we supposed to move in together as soon as possible?"

"We're not. L-lesbians, I mean - I'm not, anyway." Fidgeting with my bag strap, I glanced around furtively, blinked up at her and smiled shyly. "I'm just in love with a girl."

She looked as if she wanted to say something back, but all she could do was try to fight down that same guilty grin I was wearing. My ducts really were going to explode like a geyser if we kept staring at each other like that. I changed direction.

"So I say, preconceptions be damned - we're going to let this play out the way we want it to! I am my own person, not a societal notion or a stereotype, and neither is my girlfriend!"

"Yeah!" she piped up wetly, pumping her fist. There was only the barest note of defeat behind her voice; she was sad to know I'd be leaving, but both of us knew we'd make it despite the distance. "They can watch all the 'Ellen' they want, but that doesn't mean they know us! Fighting Scallions are more than they seem!"

"They'd better be," a voice from behind us said, "'cause this year's team is pretty damn useless."

_~*~ END Chapter Sixteen_


	17. My Lover's Mailbox

The cold, smell-clogged air of the terminal seemed to drop yet further in temperature. It was impossible - he couldn't be here. Why would he be  _here,_  hanging around in an airport of all places?!

"H-Harvey?" Sabrina mouthed, eyebrows knitting. "Wh-"

"Hey, Sabrina," he said nervously, smiling his cock-eyed smile. Harvey had always been somewhat reserved around Sabrina, but there was an edge of fear to this now. It wasn't difficult to imagine where it came from. "What's up, Libby?"

"Hey," I said softly, unsure of what to expect. Even as I watched, however, my worst fears began to resonate louder and louder.

"Omi _GOD!"_ she shouted, throwing her arms around his shoulders and squeezing so hard her feet left the floor; Harvey struggled to help them maintain balance as only a former football player could. "What in the Sam Hill are you  _doing_ here?!"

"The backstroke," he laughed, setting her back down. "Ah, Sabrina..."

"Oh, yeah," she laughed, glancing at his new-looking black laptop bag. "Guess 'missing the obvious' is a, uh, terminal illness, right?"

" _Please,_ " I moaned, looking around at the airport signs. "Did you have to go there?"

"Pun totally intended," she admitted, cheeks filling with rouge. "Sorry, guys."

"'Salright," Harvey said with a grin. He seemed much more relaxed than a moment ago; I suppose talking to her was enough to waylay his witch-related fears, and I could identify with that. "You've told worse. So, where are you guys headed?"

"Just me," I sighed dismally. It wasn't really his fault, but things were quickly going from bad to Sucksville. "Back to New York. Yay."

"That's cool," he said with a slight nod. You know, even with my newfound yearning for the female of the species, I had to admit, he hadn't grown any less hunkalicious over the years; clean-cut, same old earrings... nice leather jacket he was sporting, too. My dirty brain was cruel enough to let the phrase "Sandwich, anyone?" flash through it before Harvey spoke again. "Yeah, I'm heading out to Phoenix; Brad's going to school there."

"Oh," Sabrina sighed flatly. "Brad."

"Brad, Brad..." Nothing came to me. Did I know him? Was he one of Sabrina's exes I'd never known she had because I used to hope she'd end up in traction?

"He returned to Westbridge after you were packed off to Restrictions-R-Us," Sabrina told me. "Harvey's once-upon-a-time best friend."

"Oh, yeah," I said vaguely, remembering a small, tan-skinned boy throwing his pudding cup across the elementary school cafeteria and hitting me right in the face. The corner of my mouth turned down. "Brad."

"Okay, so he's a jerk sometimes," Harvey burst out. "But he says there's this awesome waterpark right outside of town, and... well, I just really need a good, solid escape from school for a while, and the further behind me it is, the better."

"We  _all_ needed that," Sabrina laughed, glancing over at me. My heart fluttered. Yes, it's  _that_ easy for her to do. "So, I guess your Spring Break just started?"

"Yep. Ate dinner with the folks, did some laundry... now, time to hit up some wicked waterslides!"

"Sounds good," I sighed. "Too bad I'm just going back to drudgery in the fast-paced world of the Big Apple."

"Well, we  _could_ all go," Sabrina said coyly.

"Ohhh, no," I said immediately. "I don't want to get some kind of spell-related flu, or end up in Antarctica or something."

"C'mon, you have  _got_ to have a little more faith in my magic than that!" she said grumpily.

"Oh yeah, that's right," said Harvey bemusedly. "Libby knows, now - I was really freaked out for a second there that you'd get zapped for telling her!"

"She does?" Sabrina asked, then shook her head out. "I mean, you know she does? What- how would you? We haven't spoken in like, a year, and-"

"My fault," I said in a small voice. "When we were both kind of, y'know... freaking out and trying not to kill each other, I gave him a ring for some advice. Don't be mad!"

"You called him? And he talked to you?" Then, the colour began to drain from her face, and she looked between us, obviously fending off a wave of panic. "Umm... so, what did you guys talk about?"

"Everything," I breathed.

"Yeah," said Harvey, now severely antsy; he kept rocking back on his heels. "I, uh... yeah, I remember the conversation, but it's kind of... like a... I mean, come on, Libby Chessler and Sabrina Spellman?!"

 _"Shhh!"_ Sabrina glanced around wildly. "Not so loud!"

"Hey, careful there," I laughed hollowly. "Somebody might get the idea you're ashamed of me."

"Don't be an idiot," she snapped. "You're no more ready to come out to the world than I am, I'm betting."

"Hey, it doesn't matter to me," I said softly. Truth is, I was terrified beyond belief, but I honestly felt that if the time came to deal with that as soon as tomorrow, I could handle it. For her. "God, my freaking  _parents_ already know - who could be more judgmental than them?"

"Hmm... point." Sabrina frowned, then turned back to me so suddenly I almost jumped backward. "Shiitake on a stick, Libby... Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda!"

My eyes flew open. "Oh. Oh no, I-"

"How do you tell your sweet several-hundred-year-old aunties that you're gay?!" she blurted frantically. "You can't do it on a Monday afternoon over coffee cake!"

"So wait until Tuesday?" Harvey joked. I appreciated it - privately - but Sabrina shot him a look fit to kill.

"Ha, ha, Kinkle," she said, face so red I felt a rush of sympathy. "Let's see  _you_ fly back home to Mom, Dad and the horde with Brad on your arm and see how funny it is  _then!"_

"Dude," he said dismally, already-uncertain smile sliding right off. "That is just sick and wrong."

"Are  _we_ sick and wrong?!"

"No, but me and  _Brad_ would be," he said with a shiver. "Why would you do that?  _Please_ never do that to me again!" Then his horrified, thousand-yard stare shifted into a quizzical look. "But you guys really are, like, together? You got, uh... and it all worked out?"

"I'm not sure," I said airily. "I'm starting to think Sabrina might end up with Ophelia, instead."

"Oh, put a cork in it," she muttered. "You oughtta know I-"

But she stopped. She stopped because Harvey was there. It ached, a lot, to watch her be so unable to display affection freely because of stigmata and concern for what an old flame would think. What am I saying? Old flame, nothing. She still carried a torch for him, even after everything - I knew that. She had spent so much time in therapy, trying to forget about him, and all she had really accomplished was burying all of her feelings beneath a pile of positivity and empowerment. Even if she and I were meant to be together forever, a part of Sabrina would always love Harvey.

However, this would not be the end of all things. Maybe it could have been, except for one small detail: I am  _LIBBY CHESSLER._ Surrender is never the first option.

My hand wandered up to the side of her cheek, where I took her chin between thumb and forefinger. Summoning my warmest, sincerest smile (it wasn't that hard, I was warmly, sincerely happy next to her), I said, "I do know."

One eye did flick back to Harvey for a moment, afraid that he would be offended, but she fell silent. My thumb ran along her bottom lip, and I could feel her pulse speed up beneath my index finger. Then, when she blinked slowly, as if readying herself for a kiss that may or may not come... I released her. There was no reason to push  _that_ far.

"Oh, how I hate you," she half-laughed, shaking her head as she clutched at her chest.

"Sorry," I said, smoothing out my skirt needlessly. "Caught up in the mo'."

We both turned to look at Harvey as one; his eyes were staring all over the terminal, as if trying to pretend he was paying absolutely no attention. The way he was nodding slightly to himself, as if in time to music only he could hear, gave him away.

"Earth to Harv," I giggled.

"Hmm, what?" he said animatedly. "What were you saying?"

Sabrina snorted. "Dork. Are you happy for us, or what?"

"Oh, yeah, totally!" he yelped. "I'm too afraid to disapprove!"

"I would never turn you into a toad, Kinkle. Not on purpose, anyw-"

"Not of you, of Libby!" He was squirming; good. "Your spells might have the most bizarre effects, but... I have a feeling whatever she'd do to me would be a lot more painful."

"Don't you forget it," I affirmed.

As Harvey was dazzling both of us with that smile of his, he cocked his head to one side, listening to the loudspeaker. "Oh, snap - that's me. Geez, I hate to cut this reunion short."

"Alright, alright, you're dismissed," said Sabrina bravely, though I'm sure both me and Harvey could tell she was disappointed. "Westbridge won't go up in flames while you're in the desert."

He nodded, hefting his laptop bag. "Yeah. Anyway, uh... man, I guess I didn't know how much I missed you guys."

It was like an animal trainer snapping her fingers; both of us threw our arms around his broad shoulders, clinging as if he were a life raft in the middle of the ocean. I could feel him patting me on the back hesitantly for a few moments before he cleared his throat, and we both found our way back to the floor.

"Sorry," Sabrina half-sniffed, slipping her hand into mine. "Go, hit the tidal pools."

"Postcards, maybe?" I put in.

"Yeah." He waved and jogged off toward his gate. We'd been expecting him not to turn around, but he did; at the very last moment, he glanced back to see if we were still there, and we waved. With a grin and a salute, he disappeared.

~*~  _END Chapter Seventeen_


	18. The Final Cheer-Jerker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spring Break is over - both for Libby and myself! VERY coincidental that it should coincide. I love it when the Fates play with a little irony. Too many movies, too much Guitar Hero... but alas, this is the final contiguous bit. Keep eyes peeled for a short epilogue! Hands are too cold right now to type much more, so straight into it.

_"This is the final boarding call for Flight Two-Eighty-Three to LaGuardia Airport. All passengers must board the plane at this time."_

"So  _that's_ what happened."

My head nodded slowly. "Yep."

Sabrina did not nod. She shook her head, instead. "Wow. So, that failed."

"Hugely."

"Seriously, the  _Bee Gees?!_  Toothpaste, and- Libby, I must admit, I'm kind of disappointed!"

"I was working with what little resources were available to-"

"But you could have at  _least_ went with something less... disco!" She gave a small, disbelieving laugh. "And you thought  _that_ was going to break you out of Swords Academy?"

"Hey, I'd like to see  _you_ escape from The Gulag That Fashion Forgot! It's not as easy as it  _doesn't_ look, you know!"

"Okay, okay," she giggled. "But you have  _got_ to let me tell Roxie that story, she'll wet her pants!"

"Don't you  _dare,_ " I said with a glower. "I tell only those I'm intimate with."

"So, yeah, everybody."

_"GOD, shut UP!"_

When I caught the look on her face, I couldn't help but laugh along with her as I stood up and shouldered my carry-on, even though she was endeavouring to sully my already-spotty reputation.

"I despise you," I giggled, taking out my ticket. "With every atom of every cell, seriously."

"Love you, too, Loobyloo."

"And could you  _not_ call me Loobyloo?" I snapped. "It is  _not_ funny, and also what my  _mother_ calls me, and I'd rather  _not_ think about my mother when I'm about to- to-"

"To?" she asked.

There were people everywhere. Sure, nobody was left in this particular area (having already boarded my flight), but the receptionist and security guards were still staring at us expectantly, waiting to see if we'd be getting on the plane or not. What Sabrina had said caught up to me; I was scared of being outed. Was I? Sure.

Not scared enough.

I definitely heard the dumpy woman at the desk gasp loudly; I wondered if she'd ever seen two women say goodbye in such a manner. Probably not; I'd marked her for the kind who doesn't get out much. Meanwhile, that was all the thought I could spare for some frumpy lady while I was pressing so deeply into my lover that I thought I might fall through and into her soul. The thing that made it sweetest? We had already done so much crying that day that we didn't have any tears left; all we had was love.

As the extremely-flustered woman checked my ticket, I turned back to her. "Don't wait two months to write me."

"Write?" she said incredulously. "Why waste paper when you can... pop?"

And just like that, my eyes lit up. "You can, can't you? I mean, duh, I've seen you do it a million-"

"And I'll do it again," she said, nodding slightly in the direction of the woman. Right - confidential information. "I'll try to call ahead to make sure you're alone in the apartment, though."

"Good, good." The last thing I needed was to have a 'witches are real, and not just on Charmed' conversation with my father. "I... oh, God, I'm so glad this isn't going to be so impossibly horrible as I thought it would!"

"Yeah," she sighed, half-smiling, half-frowning. "Gonna miss having you around on a regular basis."

"Yeah, but - but... yeah." I swallowed, wanting reassurance rather than commiseration. "But we'll survive, right?"

"Miss," the lady tried to interrupt, nodding to the gentleman closing the door behind me.

 _"Shit!"_ I yelped, darting through it. "Thank you!" I said to her.

As another door closed between me and the airport, I was brought back with vivid clarity to warmer-dressed Sabrina on the other side of the room, bidding me a miserable farewell as tears slid down her morose features. She was much closer now, but she was still crying and waving - even as she grinned at me and left me with a final thought.

"The Libby Chessler I know can survive anything."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

"So  _that_ took forever," said Ophelia as I climbed over her into the window seat, stowing my bag under my "flotation device" and plopping down wearily. "Didn't realise I got on so early, or I'd have grabbed a bite to- Libby?"

"Don't worry about it," I sniffled.

"Oh..." She frowned uncertainly. "You... wanna talk about it, or do you maybe need some Libby-time?"

"Libby-time," I choked out. "Libby-time in the lavatory, maybe even."

"That bad, huh?"

"Ever been stabbed in the face with an ice pick, set on fire, then thrown into a bathtub full of lemon juice?"

Her eyeliner-heavy eyes blinked a few times. "Uhhh... not since last All Hallows?"

"Yeah, well, I'd take that."

An impatient "tuh!". "Libby Gabby, you're going to be seeing her very soon, I'm sure. Don't pass a stone."

My eyebrows twitched as rage began to overtake my misery. "Ophelia, I swear to  _GOD-_ "

"Sorry," she said, reflexively protecting her face. "Damn, I guess you really were serious about nobody using that."

"As a triple-bypass." Then I slumped back into my seat, wriggling when I felt how hard and uncomfortable the backrest was. "Urgh, I want  _off_ this plane - I wanna go back to Westbridge, back to my old life!"

"You mean, pom-poms and Porshes?"

"Like I ever had a- I mean, no, not that crap." I glanced out the tiny, round window at the wing of the plane; the mid-morning sun was glinting off the metal and into my eyes, making me wipe them even more furiously. "I just want to be living in my house with that gorgon of a mother, and drifting through high school, and eating at The Slicery, and pining after Harvey, and- and-"

Ophelia snorted. "But then you and Sabrina would be at each other's throats instead of all snuggly-wuggly."

That thought should have been horrible - and for a moment, it was. The smile that spread over my face was such a curious sensation. "Yeah, we would have. Ahh, the good old days."

"You miss that, too, don't you? Bickering with Sabrina."

My entire perception of our past slowly came into focus through my new rose-tinted lenses; I'd caught a glimpse in the heat of our confessions in Prom The Second, but only now was it all bumped up to digitally-remastered DVD clarity. Every day for the first month, when I kept seeing her and wondering how anybody so tacky and uncool and strange could exist - me liking what I saw, even though I refused to admit it. The next few years, with us trading insults, sometimes going out of our way to snipe at each other no matter if we were on opposite sides of campus or not - flirting. Maybe love at first sight is more than a myth; it simply disguises itself in different forms until you're ready to come to grips with your own feelings.

"I do." Ophelia was shaking her head, but smirking exasperatedly. "What?"

"Yeah, I can tell now I never had a chance. If you miss  _fighting_ with her, it  _must_ be the real thing."

I laughed. "I thought 'The Real Thing' was Coca-Cola."

Punching me in the arm was the nicest punishment she could have given me for that one. "Bimbo."

"Ophie?"

Before I could elaborate, my face was mashing into her bosom and her forearms were pressing into the back of my head. "I know. It's okay."

I couldn't help but open wide the floodgates and let all my grief, joy and sadness pour out all over her Poe t-shirt. What she'd helped me understand, how I'd see Sabrina again soon and that we'd always been retarded for each other - it had helped me so much that I could never express my gratitude. Yet I needed a release. Too much drama had anally assaulted me over the past couple weeks.

"C'mon, be brave," she was saying - she had been talking all along, though I was way too overcome to register the words. Now, suddenly and powerfully, I realised I wasn't the only one crying. "Summer is a few months away, a-and then- then we could go back, and see your Sabrina again, right?"

"My Sabrina?" I gasped, sitting upright. No one had  _ever_ put it that way outside my own mind. "M-mine?"

"I think you've got her sewn up," she affirmed blearily.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Perhaps this isn't the most usual place to end the Libby Chessler story, but this is where the curtain closes - with me falling asleep, nestled in the arms of a bisexual Wiccan goth girl on a plane back to my father's apartment in Chelsea, prepared to finish my classes, dole out plates of putanesca and scream for the alternative band I had led to an initial contract. My bad. Maybe I'll write a follow-up memoir later in life, but for now I don't see what else there is to chronicle. We got to all the juicy stuff.

So, what do you think? Am I insane? Probably right about that, but I am who I am - or who I've become after a year or two of various tortures. Did I trade up or down? Pom-poms for purple hair dye, Jill and Cee Cee for Adymm and Ophelia, Mr Kraft for Mr Scapelli... Westbridge for West Village. You be the judge.

No matter what, though, I am adamant on one thing; Sabrina. Maybe you don't agree that we were meant to be from birth, and maybe you think we let some weirdness turn into the worst idea of the century, and to that I say...  _screw your stupid ass!_  Where do  _you_ get off telling me I picked the wrong lifemate?! I am motherfucking  _LIBBY CHESSLER,_  or did you so quickly forget that part?!

Ahem. So, yes. Anyone who was offended by that... deserves to be, but I apologise, anyway. I'm just that nice.

The rest of you see, though, don't you? Every moment of discovery and strife through these teenage years of mine has led up to the undeniable truth that me without Sabrina is like a cappuccino without foam - bold and delicious, but also flat and uninteresting. Having her in my life gives it form and meaning, breathes life and colour and flavour onto my otherwise unadorned existence.

How about that? Cheerless to Cheerful in two years flat - and all because of a stubborn blonde optimist with supernatural powers. You never know where life will take you, I suppose - or  _to whom_ it will take you.

Gotta go. Until we meet again, dear readers.

_Liberty G Chessler_


	19. EW-pilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although we've come... to the ennnnnd of the rooooad... still I caaaan't leeeeet goooo...
> 
> Firstly, much thanks to Sir Scott of Korman. Though many others have said many encouraging things, he's been a steady reader throughout the whole series, and whenever I would think "Is there even a point in continuing the story? Does anyone care?" I at least knew he was out there, waiting for my next chapter. All authors need a reaffirmation to avert their crisis of faith or what have you now and again. And, of course, hats tipped to Crytyk (DWR), Dartxni and AllyK00 for recent reviews. That's what I love about fanfiction; complete strangers telling you how you're doing from beginning to end.
> 
> Yes, this is the END. If by some impossible fluke you're insane enough to want MORE of this story, even now, I'm apologizing because there's nothing left to tell, really. Unbridled Honesty-wise, I COULD crack it open again and write some fun things, but why? This is the story I wanted to tell, and I finally told all of it. Only took me a thousand years. So if you absolutely NEED to know what happened between Adymm and Roxie in the intervening years, maybe YOU could write that? :P I wouldn't tell you not to if you so desired.
> 
> But I'm being mean; this is such a bittersweet occasion. Libby's been with me for many years, mirroring my personality and experiences in strange ways. Wrapping up her saga is like seeing off a friend who's moving to another country. Thank you SO MUCH for reading this far! You must not have hated it if you read this far, even if you didn't "like" it per se. I sincerely hope you enjoy my future writings, even though they won't be Libby-related... and there IS more in the works, believe you me. And I need to take a verbal Pepto to head off this spewing, so on with the last bit.
> 
> See you around.  
> Jessica X

_SLAP!_

Shoot, now she's done it - she hit me. I can't believe she just  _hit_ me! Okay, so maybe I had it coming - or maybe I didn't, but... she just crossed over the threshold from passive-aggressive displeasure to physical violence, and... how do I feel? Sorry. The remorse surprises me because I did nothing wrong, and at the same time I'm surprised to be surprised. Do I really think I'm above feeling guilt for disappointing somebody, even if there happens to be a logical explanation?

"Gorgon _zola_ , where the hell have you  _BEEN?!"_

"H-hey, wait, I, I-"

"Oh, shut up and come here," Sabrina growled, pulling me into a crushing embrace, nails digging though both my windbreaker and the shirts underneath. I had scarcely enough time to be reminded how warm she felt and good she smelled before she said, "You are such a- a- oh, I dunno, but it's something stinky!"

"God," I grunted breathlessly, travel bag slipping from my hand to the carpet. "I'm sorry, Breeny, I didn't mean to-"

"Well, you freaking  _did,_ " she sobbed into my shoulder. "Scared the potatoes outta me!"

"You didn't have to  _hit_ me, though!"

"Oh, yes I did!" she snapped, pushing me back at arm's length, fire back in her eyes. "Why didn't you call, or email, or something?! You could have rammed straight into a mountain, or into a ravine, or- or been eaten by zombie pack mules for all I know!"

"Jesus, would you take a breath?" Running a tired hand through my hair, I crossed into the dining room and dropped my purse on the table. Sabrina followed, arms crossed, expression livid. "My phone died, and I was going to charge it at the airport but I came this close-" I used my thumb and forefinger to demonstrate "-to missing my flight. Then, I could have stopped to recharge once I touched down, but I figured it would be better just to return home as soon as possib-"

"Yeah, well, you thought  _wrong!_  Haven't you ever heard of a payphone?!"

"Haven't you ever heard that they decommissioned them all?" I retorted. "Besides, what about your magic? Can't you, y'know...  _scry_ or whatever?"

" _Real_ witches don't  _scry,_ " she grumbled. "Besides, I... sent my magic out for a tune-up yesterday."

I blinked. "They can do that? No, wait... I seem to remember you mentioning this before. A bunch of glowyness ends up in a bank-teller canister?"

"Yes, that; my pointing has been getting increasingly pointless lately." Her words remained snappish, but I could tell the anger was slowly fading. "All I could do was call your dead phone helplessly; I tried getting ahold of Aunt Hilda, but she's on God-Knows-What-Plane-Of-Existence, and Aunt Zelda's still a candle, so without-"

"Enough," I groaned, plopping into a chair at the table. It was then I noticed the Lean Cuisine and Sunny D. "Oh, you ate already?"

"I was about to try before you decided to, y'know,  _be alive._ "

I frowned. This was not a hill to die on. "Sabrina, seriously, I am sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"No." Tears again. "You know how I get when I lose my magic, even if it's only for a day or two."

"I know, I know; all panicky and underconfident." That tidbit of jealousy resurfaced just long enough to make me say, " _Some_ of us have to live without it, anyway."

"Don't be like that. I can't help it."

We sat in silence for a moment as I massaged my temples; jet lag mixed with being smacked across the jaw was the worst sensation, in my opinion. I was about to ask if we had any ibuprofen when she said, "Do you want me to give it up?"

"Sabrina-"

"No, Libby, you  _always_ deflect me," she continued doggedly. "I could walk away from magic, and I would for you, but you never tell me one way or the other."

"Don't be an idiot. It's part of you."

"Well, it is  _now,_  but if-"

" _No,_ " I said clearly, sitting up and glaring at her. "You are  _not_ going to use me as an excuse to become less than the woman I married."

Her cheeks flushed - they always did when I said that, and I couldn't help but smirk. Still, she only said, "Gee, thanks for dumping it right back on me."

"An honour and a pleasure."

She flipped me off as she padded back into the kitchen. I couldn't help but watch her go; she was wearing those tight brown slacks that show off precisely how much junk she keeps in her trunk.

"By the way," she called out as my restless legs wandered into the living room, "Roxie called. She says her business trip to Reykjavik was a gigantic bust, and that she would truly appreciate us taking her out for a toxic amount of alcohol ingestion when she gets back to town."

"Sounds like a plan. Ophelia and TQ are supposed to be coming down, too - her book comes out in two weeks and she picked visiting our quaint old burg as a celebratory 'treat'. When is Roxie getting in?"

"Tuesday."

"Mmm." There was a thin coating of dust on the mantle above the fireplace. Usually, the house was spotless - but then again, Sabrina didn't usually have to use elbow grease and actual cleaning tools to do it. "Did you see the newest Mad Crow Disease video?"

"No," she replied, still with a hint of gruffness. "Should I have?"

"Greg produced it."

"You're kidding?! Wow, that's terrific - I felt so bad for him when his solo album flopped."

I grimaced. "Yeah. Still on the fence about whether that was 'ahead of its time' or 'a flaming barge of bilge'."

"I liked it okay, even if I could have done without the weird cow-moo samples he threw in on track seven. Anyway, so how was the gig in... what, Venezuela?"

"Vancouver," I corrected, shrugging off my coat and tossing it over the back of a chair. "Venezuela was a month ago."

"Excuse me," she said acidly. Water was running; doing the dishes?  _What_ dishes? She made Lean Cuisine for dinner! The only possibility was that she'd neglected her mess from lunch... and probably breakfast, too. She could be so lazy when her magic was on the fritz.

"Excused. They run together for me, too." The faded snapshot of Sabrina with her mother was so old - I wished I could get them together to take a new one, but it was against those damn rules of theirs. On the other hand, it was right at home on the mantle next to the picture of me and Gran, as they were taken around the same time. "Adymm broke his lucky pick."

"Ah, crap. Does he still have it?"

"The pieces, yes. Placebo's bassist stepped on it."

A snicker. "I'll see what I can do. In a few days, that is."

"In a few days. You going to modify his memory, or let him wonder how his guitar pick fixed itself?"

"The second way's always more fun."

I rolled my eyes, then picked up our wedding photo. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a legally-binding marriage, but I got to wear a white dress and they threw rice at us - that's a wedding in my book. "Were you seriously frantic?"

No answer. After a moment, I set the picture down with an affectionate pat and turned to head into the kitchen, but right about that time she launched herself at me, pinning me to the living room carpet.

"Can you try not to drive me bananas anymore?" she whispered in a pained voice. "It's cruel."

"I thought you  _liked_ it when I drive you bananas."

Her lips were pushing into mine, and the unexpectedness of it was offset by how overdue this was. So what if it had only been about a week since we were last together? It felt like an ice age could have come and gone - I'd certainly felt cold enough at night. Her body lowered, and her heart was thumping so hard I had to open my eyes to check hers for signs that something might be off, but they were squeezing shut. My arms snaked up and around her back, threading through her golden locks and holding her face against mine, seeking out her tongue. My other hand found her backside and squeezed, which caused her to release and lean back.

"Whoa, going for the brass ring already?!"

"No time to waste; I've got a signing at some mall in Boston tomorrow morning."

"Agh," she spat, rolling off me. Where'd all the love go? "And I thought I had you  _home._ "

"You do, for the rest of the week," I said earnestly. "This is a contractual obligation; they wanted me to perform, too, but I don't have that kind of time to squander."

"All right, all right." With a shake of her blonde head, she snuggled into my shoulder; apparently, I had killed (or at least wounded) the mood. I placed my arm around her back, holding her to me. "But nothing else after that. I already feel like I barely see you."

"Well, usually when I'm home, you're hot on the heels of some story or other. What gives?"

"Me. I gave my current assignment to Parsons," she said contentedly. "It was super heady, and would have taken  _hours_ of research."

"I thought those were your favourite pieces."

"They  _are..._  when I'm living  _alone_ in Granny Chessler's former digs." A bemused smile. "Otherwise, I'm all about the life and Liberty."

I laughed. "And the pursuit of Sabri-ness." Suddenly full of energy, I jumped to my feet. "C'mon, let's go do something reckless!"

"Geh?" she said, in a perfect imitation of Salem - whom was nowhere to be seen, I realised. Another parole hearing, and so soon? "You don't want to, y'know... stay in?"

"Oh, I plan on coming back, all right," I said with a dark smile. "But, I dunno... I wanna take my girl someplace special."

"No place special around here - not even The Slicery, now that it's been bought and turned into an office."

My eyes sprang open. " _What?!_  They put an  _office_ in The Slicery?! But... but they can't do that!"

"Sign's in the window," she said with a shrug, though that manic gleam had entered her blue eyes. "'Cuthbert, Semsch, Beagle and Musgrave, Attorneys At Law'. But..."

I could see she was about to burst; I'd been right about the manic gleam. "What'd you do?"

In a rush, she blurted, "I got you a present, it's out in the garage!"

Regarding her skeptically all the way, I allowed Sabrina to clap her delicate hands across my eyes and lead me through the kitchen and into the garage. When she uncovered them, what should be sitting against one wall but-

"A Slicery booth!" I squealed happily, rushing over to examine it more closely. "Hey, look, that's-"

"Harvey's initials," she giggled, pointing to its surface. "And there's Jenny's, and mine, and Valerie's... that might be Gordie's, can't tell... I didn't see yours, though."

"Oh, I never wrote on any of the tables," I sighed, running my hands along its surface. "That place has been empty for years, but... but I guess somehow I thought it'd always stand as a testament to our youth."

"Well, now it's a testament to workman's comp suits." After a moment, she leaned closer to me to ask, "Like it? I thought we could put it in-"

In answer, I grabbed her and pushed her down on the tabletop, ravaging her lips for the second time in as many minutes. The buttons flew off her silk top as I pulled it open, and I wriggled out of my sweater as if it were on fire. Right after her hands had found their way up my thighs and beneath the hem of my skirt, she pulled back and panted, "Let's go inside."

"Why? The garage door is down."

She giggled. "But the bed is a teensy bit more comfortable than this ancient Formica."

"But I want to," I said hotly, staring down into her blue eyes - just as enchanting without her powers - and never having been so glad to be in Westbridge, where I belonged. "Let's express all sorts of love right on top of our memories, Sabrina.  _All_ sorts."

For a moment, she stared at me as if I were losing my mind. Then, her hand came up and drew my chin closer, and she placed her lips gently against mine as she breathed the last coherent word that would be spoken by either of us for well over an hour.

"Freak."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~  _End_  ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS, and welcome to the sixth, most over-dramatic, and FINAL installment in my Cheerless Trilogy - uhh, Sextilogy? I was going to wait and take another look at this before posting it, but I couldn't help but take a quick breather from family and pumpkin pie to provide the first chapter as a holiday gift to my modest panel of Sabrina enthusiasts :) In a spurt of random helpfulness, here's a list of the six parts in proper reading order:
> 
> 1: Cheer-Streaked 2: Swords & Axes 3: Cheer-Stained 4: A Thread Breaking 5: Cheers Roll Down 6: Cheer-Soaked
> 
> I do promise that, pending some kind of unearthly wave of inspiration FAAAR in the future, when you read the last chapter of this it will be the last chapter in the whole damn saga. Some of you will find that sad... some will find it long overdue. Either way, I hope you have as much fun as I did, and that we can all look back on the ride with fond memories. Again, enjoy the rest of December and read on!


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